Sometimes I watch a Lifetime movie and halfway through I figure out exactly where it’s going. And I of course feel extremely proud and mock Lifetime from my couch, probably through a mouthful of food, for being so transparent. But I really shouldn’t get so cocky, because other times a twist comes as a total shock to me even though it was pretty obvious looking back on it. That’s what happened at the end of last night’s movie The Good Sister, the latest installment in Lifetime’s “We Say ‘Good,’ But We Actually Mean The Opposite” series. So I thought I’d shame myself a bit by looking through my plot notes and picking out various reasons I really should have seen that ending from a mile away.
That means I need to reveal the twist before we get started, so if you haven’t watched the movie yet and were hoping to be surprised, avert your eyes, because SPOILERS. Ready? Ready? READY?? Okay, here goes. The movie stars Sonya Walger (NOT PENNY’S BOAT) as Kate, a woman in a troubled marriage who learns she has a long-lost twin. Her husband Jack (Ben Bass, who needs to play Bobby Cannavale’s brother ASAP) ends up having an affair with the twin and at the end, after lots of drama, the twin shoots the husband dead, only to reveal that there was no twin. It was the wife all along! Dun duuun duuuuun.
The reason I didn’t see this coming (I know, excuses excuses) is because it didn’t strike me as the kind of movie that would pull the rug out from under us. It was pretty — how you say — boring. There was a disappointing amount of camp for a movie purportedly about an evil twin. And I guess that worked, because it lulled me into a false sense of security. Unfortunately if I didn’t have to write this review I don’t know if I’d have stuck it out until the twist. But without further ado, here are the various reasons I really should have known.
1. The movie starts with photographer Kate taking pictures of little twin sisters. Perhaps she got a few ideas?
2. She’s seeing a therapist and it’s suggested that she’s mentally unstable, or at least depressed.
3. She stops taking her meds.
4. She gets a convenient letter out of the blue that’s like, “OMG BTW you have an identical twin sister you’ve never met because you were a part of an experiment, and she wants to meet you. Okay bye!”
5. Kate is so picky about where and how she and the twin sister should meet that Jack’s only option is to suggest they meet at his office… which is exactly what she wants.
6. Kate’s “twin” Linda has her exact same hairstyle.
7. “Linda” is dressed exactly like an evil twin would dress. She wears hoop earrings, for crying out loud. Kate’s not very creative.
8. Kate never shows up to the meeting, saying later that she got cold feet.
9. Kate then calls Jack letting him know she’s meeting “Linda,” but she insists he doesn’t come.
10. We never see their meeting.
11. Kate tells Jack she gets a weird vibe from “Linda” and doesn’t want to see her again.
12. We never see them together for the rest of the movie.
13. Jack previously cheated with a woman from his office, and Kate’s still struggling with trust issues… giving her the perfect motive to mess with him.
14. “Linda” is able to continue extending the length of her trip to hang out with Jack, because apparently she doesn’t have any responsibilities back home. (She doesn’t, of course, because she’s not real.)
15. “Linda” has a boob tattoo of a broken heart that looks like something I put on my hand using a sponge when I was six… which is probably exactly the kind of tattoo Kate used.
16. Every time Jack lies about where he was/is/is going to be, Kate calls him out on it immediately… because where he was/is/is going to be is with her as “Linda.”
17. After Jack’s ex-lover spots him with “Linda,” he says that she thinks he’s having an affair with his own wife. So the movie literally tells us the twist in dialogue.
18. “Linda” is able to leave an incriminating note in their house… because she lives there. (She makes it look like a break-in, but still.)
19. Jack’s relatives see “Linda” at a bar and think she’s Kate, and “Linda” knows who they are and “pretends” to be her. Even though they’ve supposedly never met… but they have, because she really is Kate. Confused yet?
20. “Linda” kills Jack’s ex-lover and leaves her necklace at the crime scene, which is obviously her way of making sure Jack knows it’s her… which is all part of her plan. Muahahaha.
21. Kate is seeming increasingly evil as she threatens Jack with divorce and blackmail.
22. “Linda” gives Jack a gun to kill Kate with, but it has blanks in it. So when he turns on her to shoot, it does nothing. Somehow I still didn’t understand what was happening until “Linda” shot him with her own gun and told him the truth.
I’m being totally honest when I say I had no idea there was a twist until I heard it from Linda/Kate’s lips in the last five minutes. I need to work harder to turn on my Lifetime movie twist-o-meter before I watch each week. Did you watch the movie? Did you see this coming? Am I a dumbass or not? Please let me know in the comments so I can decide whether to add that to my LinkedIn profile.