Mila Kunis went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and finally opened up about her pregnancy and engagement to Ashton Kutcher, which she’s kept pretty quiet about for a while now. Unfortunately her keeping quiet means we didn’t get to hear all about what a sweet boyfriend Ashton Kutcher seems to be. I actually feel a little bit jealous of Mila. I mean, I was already jealous of Mila Kunis, but mostly for her shiny hair and overall gorgeousness, not her relationship with the guy from Punk’d.
Mila reveals that her pregnancy cravings include sauerkraut and pickles. Ellen interprets this to mean she’s having a boy, for absolutely no reason in particular. I’m not even gonna gonna talk about all the pickle implications. Okay, so I kind of just did talk about that, but I’m going to stop doing that right now and focus on Mila’s stories about Ashton. Not only does he fetch her pickles from the fridge whenever she gets a craving, but he’s also learning Russian, which we all know Mila speaks thanks to that time she whipped it out during a Q&A and we all fell in love. That’s right, Ashton Kutcher is learning a second language so they can use it to talk to the baby.
And it’s not like he just decided yesterday and has learned a couple of phrases. Mila says he’s been taking lessons twice a week for six months now. If you asked me a year ago whether I thought Ashton Kutcher would make a good boyfriend/fiance/husband/anything, I’d probably laugh in your face. But now all I can do is “aww” at him. I mean, he might still be a total douchebag, but I’m going to choose to focus on the Russian lessons and the cute kiss cam moments, because I just want these two to be happy, okay?!