Guys. GUYS. The invitations to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s wedding have gone out, and because this is Kimye we’re talking about, obviously one of them leaked.
Unfortunately, it tells us approximately nothing about the location of the ceremony, so sneaking in under Kris Jenner‘s petticoats is still out, but there are some other very important pieces of information to be gleaned from it, so listen up. First of all, it’s like…upholstered. Because of course it is. We’re talking gray suit fabric and gold lettering. You can see it right here. They apparently went out last month and required an RSVP by May 2nd, so if you haven’t told North you’re coming yet, you’re out of luck.
She’s their wedding planner, obvs, and she’s putting on a hell of a show. At least according to the invitation, from which I learned the following:
- We’re spelling ‘honour’ the British way because this is a high-class event.
- It’s black tie.
- Cocktail hour starts at 6:00pm.
- It’s somewhere in Paris, France. (Just follow the trail of diamonds I guess? I dunno.)
- You’ll get details about the event ONCE YOU GET THERE. How
Where’s the fun in that? How will I know whether to wear a swimsuit or thermal underwear under my black tie? In fact, how will I know anything, given that everyone apparently has to sign a non-disclosure agreement so they can’t talk about the ceremony after the fact.
“Guests will have to go through extensive security, even most of Kim and Kanye’s celebrity friends. Mobile devices will be held at a secure location and if someone needs to use during the festivities, accommodations will be made, but a long way away from the festivities. This is all designed to discourage guests from using their phones.”
You guys are really harshing my mellow right now.