Kimye’s Wedding Invitation Tells You To Be In Paris, You Can Figure Out The Rest

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Bound 2 GIF Kimye

Guys. GUYS. The invitations to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s wedding have gone out, and because this is Kimye we’re talking about, obviously one of them leaked.

Unfortunately, it tells us approximately nothing about the location of the ceremony, so sneaking in under Kris Jenner‘s petticoats is still out, but there are some other very important pieces of information to be gleaned from it, so listen up. First of all, it’s like…upholstered. Because of course it is. We’re talking gray suit fabric and gold lettering. You can see it right here. They apparently went out last month and required an RSVP by May 2nd, so if you haven’t told North you’re coming yet, you’re out of luck.

She’s their wedding planner, obvs, and she’s putting on a hell of a show. At least according to the invitation, from which I learned the following:

  • We’re spelling ‘honour’ the British way because this is a high-class event.
  • It’s black tie.
  • Cocktail hour starts at 6:00pm.
  • It’s somewhere in Paris, France. (Just follow the trail of diamonds I guess? I dunno.)
  • You’ll get details about the event ONCE YOU GET THERE. How

Where’s the fun in that? How will I know whether to wear a swimsuit or thermal underwear under my black tie? In fact, how will I know anything, given that everyone apparently has to sign a non-disclosure agreement so they can’t talk about the ceremony after the fact.

“Guests will have to go through extensive security, even most of Kim and Kanye’s celebrity friends. Mobile devices will be held at a secure location and if someone needs to use during the festivities, accommodations will be made, but a long way away from the festivities. This is all designed to discourage guests from using their phones.”

You guys are really harshing my mellow right now.

(Image: Tumblr)

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    • Alyssa

      Yet they aren’t classy enough to spell out “Kimberly” or “Kanyeezus” -_-

      • Lackadaisical

        The entire orange cast of “The Only Way is Essex” spell honour the proper … I mean the English way. I fail to see how my spelling is any classier than your sensible US spellings

      • Alyssa

        Oh BUT IT IS. Adding that “U” just makes you better than other ‘muricans. If you’re a ‘murican who knows how to spell things the English way, people look at you like you’re the most intelligent of human beings. Fact.

      • Lackadaisical

        So even my mate who burps the words “archbishop of Canterbury” after a few beers is classier because he is English so is more generous with the letter “u” and prefers “s” to the brash “z” in “ise” words? No disrespect to my Geordie friends, but you are seriously ranking your fancy first lady below the population of Newcastle? Complete disrespect to my Lancashire friends (silly history books say the war of the roses finished in medieval times) but Blackpool is classy? Really? Next time locals pass around petitions about the proposed traveller sight down the road I shall trump their racism towards gypsies and travellers with “but they are classier than the president of the US”.

        I would lord it over you but I live in Yorkshire where we take pride in being down to earth in a lightly socialist way. A friend once apologised because her partner wondered aloud if my son was a bit posh, but she reassured me that she stuck up for him with “oh no, it’s just that his mum grew up in the south”. Being thought of as refined and fancy would make my neighbours cry into their ales and meat pies.

      • StarNerd

        You’re right! I’ve seen Geordie Shore, and while hilarious, they are in no way, shape, or form to ever be considered classy. I’d like to point out also, that as a Canadian, we also throw extra U’s around.

      • shawni

        That’s what I was curious about! Super formal invites but super casual names?

    • Lackadaisical

      As much as my eyes are rolling right now, when we consider that their wedding invites were leaked to the media and can be viewed by everyone online, in their position I might also think of only giving out the actual last minute to the guests. Actually, no, I would elope to avoid such media scrutiny but then at times I wanted to elope to avoid my own wedding as our own 80 guests felt like a lot of fuss so clearly my ideas on weddings are different to the future bride and groom.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      These two are so ridiculous. If they were truly “in love” instead of just worshipping each other sexually, they wouldn’t have a media circus for a wedding. When I got married, I eloped and it cost a whopping $27.

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