This week during a One Direction concert in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Harry Styles showed the crowd his new penis tattoo. Okay, so it wasn’t a penis tattoo, but it was definitely a close-to-penis tattoo that required pants removal to show off. “OMG OMG Harry Styles took his pants off on stage and I missed it!” you’re screaming right now, hopefully not in an office or any other public place or around mature adults capable of judgment. Wherever you are, though, you can calm down immediately, because a fan helpfully captured the moment in Vine form.
The tattoo says “Brasil,” to commemorate the band’s time in the country, and based on the Vine’s caption, which describes it as a “temp tattoo,” it’s not permanent. That’s a relief, since I was worried he’d reached Justin Bieber levels of tattoo obsession. I still fear that’s where we’re headed.
Anyway, back to the Vine in question. Prepare to watch it more times than you’ll feel comfortable with. Seriously, you’ll tell yourself to just look away, that 47 times is more than enough, but you’ll just keep watching. If you immediately turn yourself into the police afterward, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
It wasn’t merely the fact that an adorable boyband member was unzipping his pants that had me personally transfixed. I was just completely confused about where on his body the tattoo even was for the first ten or so viewings. At first I was convinced it was his hip, but then I realized it’s his upper thigh. Also am I the only one thinking that tattoo is totally in the Disney logo font?
Go forth, watch, rewatch, go away for a few minutes, watch again. But be warned that you might want to keep the sound off. If you unmute, you’ll quickly find yourself being blown out of your seat by the crazed screams of Directioners in the midst of viewing their idol take his pants off. In other words, it’s deafening.