In very exciting news for people who like seeing Disney movies ruined for them, Funny or Die made a Little Mermaid trailer that stars AnnaSophia Robb and Evan Peters. And twist, it’s inspired by Sofia Coppola’s directorial style. I know, your brain just got blown. (Even more than the time it got blown when you realized that AnnaSophia really does have two first names smushed into one.)
Look, I’ll be straight up honest with you. I never liked The Little Mermaid. Even at a very young age, I knew that Ariel was a stupid idiot. And that Prince Eric was a shallow dickweed. It’s not even the fact she traded her voice for legs, but the fact that she honestly thought she could built a lasting relationship with a man who doesn’t care if she never speaks. I’m no marriage counselor (on a VH1 reality show or otherwise), but hooking up with a guy who’s not at all bothered by your lack of a voice is a horrible sign.
And this obvious fact is why I love when people make fun of this movie. It taught an entire generation of girls to give up everything to get the guy. It also tried to teach women that there’s something wrong with an older, less-conventionally-attractive woman making a lucrative business deal. I say tried because they didn’t get me! I hate good looking men and I love sea witches! #TeamUrsula forever! It’s not her fault she was born with 8 legs and a shitty metabolism. While Auntie Ursula still doesn’t get any respect in this video, it does make a point of showing that Prince Eric and Ariel are both the worst. So watch, enjoy, live, laugh, love, you know the deal.