• Thu, May 8 - 12:26 pm ET

Even Jennifer Lawrence Is Over Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence Sad Face black and white

In very sad news for Jennifer Lawrence, a new interview in Marie Claire makes it clear that even Jennifer Lawrence is over Jennifer Lawrence. Upon learning the news about Jennifer Lawrence being “over,” Jennifer Lawrence apologized and vowed to leave acting immediately. Immeditely-ish. She still has fourteen hundred projects coming up, so she’ll leave soon. Unless they decide to split Mockingjay into three movie$, then she’s here forever and ever and we never will part. (Cue the music. Cue Julia Roberts. Cue the ’90s)

For the moment, she’s just letting us all know that she’s been on the Internet and she’s seen what we’ve been saying and she knows she’s the worst. Unlike that human chode who calls himself Justin Bieber, she’s fully aware of how she comes off in the media and what that image means for her career.

“Nobody can stay beloved forever,” she reasons. “I never believed it, the whole time. I was like, just wait: People are going to get sick of me. My picture is everywhere, my interviews are everywhere; I’m way too annoying because I get on red carpets and I’m really hyper, most likely because I’ve been drinking, and I can’t not photo-bomb somebody if it’s a good opportunity. But it’s something I always tell myself: ‘You need to calm the fuck down. You don’t want to constantly be a GIF.’”

As someone who’s very possibly contributed to the backlash against Jennifer Lawrence, I’d now like to start the backlash against the backlash. Because now I feel like a total bitch. The kind of bitch who calls a friend to gossip about another friend only to reveal that it’s a three way call and the other friend heard everything. EVERYTHING! (And no I can’t remember if I actually did this in middle school or I just saw it happen to Lucy Camden in 7th Heaven.)

Gossiping about celebrities is all fun and games until they drop “GIF” into a conversation and you realize they know you’re talking about them. Because if they know “GIF” they probably also know “blog” and “Google” and “Crushable.com” and “Jenni Maier” and “does Jenni Maier want to my friend?” and “is Jenni Maier naturally that cool?” and all those other internet-y buzzwords. So starting right now, Jennifer Lawrence and I are officially back on good terms. Great terms, even. Fine, I’ll go all out and say it, I’m ready to be her best friend again. That is, if she’ll have me.

(GIF: Tumblr)

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  • TJ

    Well well well. Look who is crawling back to the pro-JLaw side. I was hoping we would all learn a lesson from the Hathahate so let’s stop the train on the JLawthing. (Like J-Loathing… get it??!)

    Anyway, welcome back to the light! ;)

    • Jenni

      IT’S SO BRIGHT! I already feel tanner. Do I look tanner? Please be honest.

    • Guest

      You get so MANY points for “JLawthing.” Well done.

    • TJ

      Thank you, thank you.

  • frantawitch

    fuck you jenni. You’re a turncoat and an ugly whore

    • Jenni

      Oddly enough, that’s the way I always describe myself when I meet someone new. “Hi, I’m Jenni, I’m a turncoat as well as an ugly whore.”

    • C.

      boo, you whore.

    • Nbl

      ” (F)uck you(,) (J)enni. You’re a turncoat and an ugly whore(.)” Grammatical corrections are in the parenthesis. The more you know (should be sung in style of the old PSA’s).

  • kylie

    haha i remember the 3 way call thing from mean girls!