It’s Totally Healthy And Not At All Troubling That Jennifer Garner Is Ben Affleck’s Babysitter

Jennifer Garner Ben Affleck EventThere are two things that I know for sure in the world. One is that I regret telling everyone that Shane West was the next big thing after seeing him in Walk to Remember. And the other thing is that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have a marriage made for the tabloids. Now I’m not saying they’re getting divorced. I’m just saying if they do and everyone freaks out and is like “love is dead,” I’ll be sitting back smugly because I saw it coming. (Also, everyone knows that love died when Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up and any glimmer of love you’ve seen since this has been an illusion.)

What has me sounding the alarms this time? Just this recent Star article that takes us behind the scenes on their trip to Vegas. Which trip? Oh you know, the trip where Ben Affleck’s alleged card counting got him kicked out of the casino. It sounds like Ben originally wanted to go without his wife, but she invited herself along for the ride because she doesn’t trust him. Which I think is normal in a marriage….on the rocks. (DUN DUN DUN)

According to an insider, who may or may not be Seraphina Affleck, Jen’s essentially Ben’s babysitter. But without the perks like “getting to leave at the end of the night” and “being paid.”

“Jen demanded to go to Vegas with Ben because she doesn’t trust him — and he felt like he had no choice but to take her,” a so-called “insider” tells the outlet, later adding, “Jen and Ben’s marriage has been extremely shaky over recent months.”

After a fun day of passive-aggressively vacationing together the two got into a screaming match.  At least according to an alleged source who fails to explain how he/she overheard all of this without being seen. Short of Alex Mack, I’m not quite sure who could’ve managed to be this close to the action. But there’s no room for logic in this conversation. NO ROOM AT ALL! So ignore it completely and focus on what matters. And that’s the fact that Ben pulled on his big boy pants and asserted himself in the way that only grown men and toddlers can do. AKA: “you can’t tell me what to do!”

“She screamed at him, telling him he needed to quit gambling for good. But he told her that he’s a grown man and will do what he wants. Neither of them backed down for a good 15 minutes. Finally, Jen just went to bed,” explains the alleged source, who then must have quietly tiptoed out of the room.

So yeah, all in all sounds like a fun-filled romantic getaway full of fights and drama and everything that a Pinterest Board would want in a vacay.

(Photo: FayesVision/

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    • CMJ

      Um, you realize the Gossip Cop post you linked calls this whole thing bogus, right?

      “…explains the alleged source, who then must have quietly tiptoed out of the room.” They are mocking Star and the alleged “source” hardcore.

      • Jenni

        Gossip Call calls EVERYTHING bogus. They’ve never once agreed with a rumor.

      • Nbl

        Gossip cop is the worst! They continually call out other sites and tabloids for being wrong in the most passive aggressive way, yet they never mention the stories they got wrong. Honestly, their arrogance is very off putting.

      • Jenni

        Of course not. Classic cop behavior.

    • mlg555

      I love how it says “and then Jen went to bed” who could have been there to know that? Alex Mack indeed, you would have to be a puddle on the floor to go unnoticed.

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