You know how sometimes you’re watching an interview with a celebrity and it starts to seem like maybe that celebrity is a little too comfortable — with the interviewer, with the audience, with the chair they’re sitting in — and things take a turn for the weird? That’s what happened in this Julie Bowen interview with Conan O’Brien from last night. It started out innocent enough, but now I think I need an adult. Is there one available?
One of Julie’s favorite interview topics, besides her amazing imitation of Modern Family co-star Sofia Vergara, is to talk about her kids. And she usually tells hilarious and delightful family stories that simultaneously make you giggle and vow never to have children. But this time things got strange when Conan asked what it’s like for her to be the only woman in a household of men, since she has three boys. Turns out her femaleness is very fascinating to her sons, because she possesses certain parts — and lacks certain other ones.
Julie just casually mentions that her sons have a habit of sneaking in while she’s showering and worrying about where the hell her penis is. Okay, that’s… not something I expected her to talk about. Maybe the rest of the conversation will be more run-of-the-mill and less “my sons watch me shower.” But then Conan of all people, who’s just commenting on the turn the conversation took, decides to encourage it and tells his own story about his son’s obsession with his wife’s boobs. Then there’s more boob talk and more references to wanting to return to the womb than I’m comfortable with. But hey, I’m not a mom and I’m not a little boy, so who am I to question it? Except I am questioning it. I’m questioning it so hard.