Megan Fox’s Kids Are Cute And All, But She Should Really Figure Out Birth Control

Megan Fox saying whatever GIFSometimes I worry that nobody bothered to teach the celebrities of Hollywood about birth control. I think babies are as cute as the next person, and by no means do I want to discourage famous people from pushing them out, but when I hear Megan Fox discussing her unplanned pregnancies as if she’d have no idea of how to go about planning them, I get a little nervous.

Megan went on The Ellen Show to promote her upcoming movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesand one of the main topics the two of them discussed was Megan’s kids. She has two of them with her husband Brian Austin Green – Noah, 19 months, and Bodhi, 11 weeks — and she doesn’t seem quite sure how she got them, except that Ellen DeGeneres had something to do with it:

“The first time I was here, I was pregnant and no one knew it and then the second time I just had my baby, but I got pregnant again, so you’re sort of like a fertility good luck charm. If you want to get pregnant, come see Ellen.”

No Megan, no no no. If you want to get pregnant, have unprotected intercourse! If you don’t want to get pregnant, or you don’t have a particular feeling either way, then maybe hold off for a bit or have protected intercourse, like with condoms, the pill, IUD, or any number of the vast options available to you. Ellen has surprisingly little to do with it.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green's kids Noah and Bodhi

By no means am I judging unplanned pregnancies or accidents (happy or otherwise) because obviously those kids are adorable and wonderful. I’m just taking my cues off of Megan herself, who seems pretty open about the fact that the timing of her pregnancy with Bodhi was especially inconvenient.

“I got pregnant with Bodhi two weeks into filming Ninja Turtles, which is an action movie and requires a lot of running and jumping and stunts. So anyone that’s been pregnant knows the first trimester can be pretty rough and your nauseous all day long, so I spent the whole shoot … clinging to a box of Saltines. And we kept pickles in the refrigerator for me and I was just constantly on the verge of vomiting.”

Doesn’t it seem like the pregnancy and the filming of the movie would’ve both been easier if they hadn’t overlapped? And given that Meghan A. already knew what her filming schedule was and B. was familiar with the concept of morning sickness in the first trimester, I guess I wonder why the instinct wouldn’t be to plan one around the other. But as she said herself, that’s totally not her thing:

“The first one wasn’t planned either. I mean, we can’t let Brian near me anymore.”

!!!!! BUT THAT’S NOT HOW IT — y’know what? Nevermind.

(Image: Tumblr)

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    • Valerie

      I haaaaate when women make that stupid smug remark “oh, I can’t even let my husband look at me/be near me/touch me or else I get pregnant”. Not only is it blatantly insensitive and humble braggy toward women who have trouble conceiving, it just makes you sound like a flipping moron who has no idea how biology works. Of course there are accidents with pregnancy and intelligent people who understand their bodies have them every day but I think they at least acknowledge what happened to get themselves pregnant and don’t pretend it was some fairy godmother sprinkling sperm around and they just happened to walk thru it.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        It’s very insensitive, you’re right.

      • Isabelle

        I think that’s so stupid. People say it in a cheeky way and don’t mean anything bad about it. To make it into something else, says way more about you than anything else.

      • Valerie

        You are welcome to your opinion but I think all this says about me is that I know women who had trouble conceiving and some of them have said how hurtful it is to hear other women even joking around about how easily they get pregnant. They don’t have the luxury of being flippant about it because to them, it’s a freaking miracle that it’s so easy for others to get pregnant. Sometimes being “cheeky” also means you are being inconsiderate and ignorant to the circumstances of others not as fortunate as yourself.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Well said, Valerie.

    • Valerie

      I haaaaate when women make that stupid smug remark “oh, I can’t even let my husband look at me/be near me/touch me or else I get pregnant”. Not only is it blatantly insensitive and humble braggy toward women who have trouble conceiving, it just makes you sound like a flipping moron who has no idea how biology works. Of course there are accidents with pregnancy and intelligent people who understand their bodies have them every day but I think they at least acknowledge what happened to get themselves pregnant and don’t pretend it was some fairy godmother sprinkling sperm around and they just happened to walk thru it.

    • Nea

      I think she knows what birth control is. You still have to be fertile, so she’s making a joke that Ellen helps her fertility… There is nothing in this article that proves she doesn’t understand conception or contraception. Just because she didn’t get pregnant when YOU would, doesn’t mean it was wrong.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        She herself said it was difficult being pregnant and shooting the movie at the same time.

      • Nea

        It’s difficult to do most things when pregnant. A woman is allowed to discuss that.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You’re right, she is. In no way is that up for debate. I’m just saying, if I knew I had to have surgery and run a marathon in the same period of time, I’d plan ahead to make sure those tasks didn’t overlap. Because they’re difficult enough to do on their own, so if I have the opportunity, why not plan them around each other?

      • ameliacoco

        Who in their right mind would think it was a good idea to be pregnant while filming an action movie? Not only is it uncomfortable but it’s kind of not a great idea medically either. I agree she probably should have planned better knowing her filming schedule.

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