Like most people with less than twenty kids, Michelle Duggar is feeling oddly unfulfilled right now. After all, her desire to have more children is right there in the title of the Duggars’ TLC show – 19 Kids And Counting. It’s not ‘nineteen kids and then you stop’ or ‘nineteen kids and call it a day’, y’know? It’s nineteen kids and counting. As in can’t stop won’t stop, use it or lose it, ABC (always be child birthing), and so on and so forth.
Every good Duggar knows that when your husband wants to relieve himself sexually, you must make a vessel (aka your body) available 24/7, unless it’s before marriage, in which case all you may do is hold hands once you get engaged. That is your duty as a wife, and also why you can’t wear pants.
But did you also know that your life loses its value once you are no longer able to pass other lives through your body and into the world? It’s a little known fact! And for that reason, Michelle seems to be getting a little panicky about the fact that she might not be able to have more kids. Her stats might be stuck at nineteen forever and WOULDN’T THAT BE HUMILIATING? She would hardly even count as a full woman, and it would be proof that god had abandoned her and her family.
All she can do right now is stay near other babies, like her son Josh‘s three kids with his wife Anna, and rub them near her belly in hopes that their inherent baby-ness will cause something to sprout within her own exhausted womb. But instead, all it ends up doing is reminding her how much she still wants more kids of her own.
“I think when we have moments like this it really makes me appreciate the time I get with my grandchildren. I realize that I don’t have those little tiny babies in my home anymore. We would welcome another baby if God saw fit to give us another one.”
First of all, pretty sure that’s not how god works. You don’t just like…give him hints in magazine interviews, right? And if we’re really talking about ‘god seeing fit’, then don’t you think you’ve been ignoring some messages he’s been sending you? I’m no expert, but I think he’s been pretty clear that you might need to take a breather. All told, Michelle has had four c-sections, two of which were on an emergency basis, to save her life.
And her pregnancies themselves haven’t all been easy. Their youngest child, Josie (who as it happens, is two months younger than Michelle and Jim Bob‘s oldest grandchild, Mackynzie) was born three months premature, and her pregnancy immediately following that one ended in a miscarriage. It just seems like her body is trying to tell her something, like maybe it needs a nap.
But no no no, lady, I’m sure you’re better at reading the signs than I am. You should just keep doing what you’re doing until god comes down on a fluffy little cloud, knocks on your door and says, “WOMAN ENOUGH I AM TIRED JUST LOOKING AT YOU.”