I’m gonna need to ask a favor of 18-year-old Abigail Breslin and all her child star cohorts. Can they just stop growing up, please? It’s getting very unsettling and disturbing and makes me feel old and tired and out of the loop. Because if I was already my full height watching little Abigail be tiny and adorable in Little Miss Sunshine, and she’s now her full height, then time flies super duper fast and eventually I’ll be dead! Hooray! Just look at these new photos and tell me she’s not doing this with the specific intention of torturing us.
The photos were taken last night at the 11th Annual Project Sunshine Benefit Celebration in New York City. I imagine that before she walked out the door to attend the event, Abigail took a look at herself in the mirror and declared, “This outfit could use a little more angst.” So she practiced a few crooked smiles before settling on the one that looked the smirkiest and most IDGAF. Then she tested out a couple of slouchy poses, made sure most of her hair had fallen out of her braid, and walked out the door feeling proud of herself.
I’m thankful she’s not posing topless with a lollipop in her mouth (an image I’m still trying to scrub from my brain), but just look at the way her dress goes off the shoulder like that. I know that’s probably what it’s designed to do, but doesn’t it just look like she did it to rebel? And that’s not even mentioning the heavy eye makeup veering into Taylor Momsen territory.
Abigail might be the the former child star most devoted to showing us how grown-up she is. Between these angsty looks and the dating of the 25-year-old and the wearing of the low-cut dresses, she is really not giving up until we forget about her little pudgy tummy and big round glasses. Sorry Abigail, but I will never forget Olive. No matter how many lipstick-stained smirks you shoot at me or messy hairdos you try out. OLIVE FOREVER!
(Photos: Derrick Salters/WENN.com)