If I told you there was a new story involving Selena Gomez, Orlando Bloom, Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr, you might assume they went on some kind of double date, which would be weird for a number of reasons. But nope, this time it’s even crazier. Photographers caught Orlando and Selena hanging out together in L.A. over the weekend, and of course then TMZ had to go plant the idea in our brains that they could be hooking up.
In a post tastefully titled “Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez Revenge Screwing?” TMZ shares a photo of the pair together outside what they say was a “Chelsea Handler concert.” Since I’m pretty sure Chelsea Handler is not a musician, I’ll assume they mean her stand-up show. Apparently when the paparazzi started taking pictures, Orlando got the hell outta there.
What’s so interesting about this whole situation, other than the fact that I never would have paired these two up in my wildest of wild dreams? The fact that Orlando’s wife Miranda Kerr, from whom he recently split but still seems to get along with swimmingly, was rumored to have hooked up with Selen’a ex (???) Justin Bieber when he performed at the 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Yeah, I know, I’ll give you a minute to retrieve your brain bleach. Ready to move on? Good. So are Selena and Orlando just swapping stories or also swapping spit? Yes, it’s 2014 and I just used the phrase “swapping spit.” Deal.
They also posed for the above Instagram photo last month at an event with Seth Rogen. So are they just friends or something more? Is Orlando Bloom hooking up with Seth Rogen? Look, I just want to examine all our options here, because they’re all pretty much an equal amount of weird. I mean really, the only response to the suggestion of an Orlena romance is “Whaaaat?”