I was pretty sure Harry Styles couldn’t confuse me with a tattoo any more than he already had with that gigantic moth creature on his chest, but that was before I saw his newest ink, of ferns across his abdomen. WTF?
Bear in mind this isn’t Justin Bieber we’re talking about, so we don’t have a brooding Instagram shot with a close-up of the new tattoo in it, but One Direction fans have pointed out that in a recent photo where Harry’s arms are over his head at the opening night of 1D‘s Where We Are Tour in Colombia, you can pretty clearly see two fronds? or feathers? sprouting outward on his stomach from just under his bellybutton. And when I say his stomach, I’m being pretty generous. It’s actually in solid happy trail territory, a zone I’d be much more comfortable calling ‘the abdomen’. If this thing was on his back instead of his front, it’d be a genuwine tramp stamp.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I think we should take a moment to talk, Harry, just you and me. What’s going on with you buddy? Did you just meet an emu and really hit it off? Big Forrest Gump fan? Or are you gonna start your own nursery? Did you just find out you were raised by plants? Is botany your new passion? Or did one of your Twitter fans get it right when they speculated that they’re ferns and they could mean one of eight things:
Harry’s new tattoo is a fern which could mean any of the following (The last meaning though!) pic.twitter.com/q8pK16wokC
— Larry Updates (@1DLarryNews) April 26, 2014
I need answers here, because that is a huge tattoo! And in an area that I can pretty much guarantee will stretch around a bit, once your metabolism slows down. So it must’ve been really important, right? C’mon man, just throw me a bone here. Do you want us to call you Ferngully now OR WHAT?