Miley Cyrus Allegedly Hooked Up With Justin Bieber’s Dad, And You Can Never Unhear That

Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball GIFSavor that nice clean feeling you have in your brain right now, because I’m about to ruin it with my next sentence: Miley Cyrus allegedly hooked up with Justin Bieber‘s dad.

UGH. NO. BLEGH. Does anyone have several gallons of brain-bleach nearby that I can borrow for a couple hours? I think this is gonna require a good long soak. Miley hooking up with anyone related to Justin would be horrifying regardless, but the thing about Jeremy Bieber is that he’s the worst. Categorically. He vanooshed from Justin’s life when he was young, but now that he’s rich and famous, he’s eased his way back in, supposedly abandoning his new family to fly around with Justin on a private plane, antagonizing flight attendants.

Cause see, the thing is, while there aren’t a ton of perks to being the dad of a little kid, apparently there are just a few more when your little kid happens to be a platinum-selling artist. Including connections to Miley Cyrus. Facepalm. According to the British site Sugarscape:

“Justin and Jeremy rented a suite at a hotel in LA a couple of weeks ago and had a bunch of people over. Miley was there partying hard, and she and Jeremy ended up in one of the bedrooms together for over an hour.”

Ugh no. No thank you. But even if that was true, wouldn’t Justin be super pissed? After all, he and Miley are presumably friends, to the point that she gives him free advice.

“Justin would be all for it. He’s been helping his dad get girls for years.”

GUH NO WRONG MALFUNCTION. Do not like. No no no. No no never. Don’t help your dad get girls! Never be doing that! Gossip Cop is saying it’s just a rumor, of course, but it’s already too late. My brain has absorbed the information you gave it, and now that image is burned onto the insides of my eyelids forever. Barf.

(Image: College Candy)

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    • M_G

      GAH! Alexis, I could have gone my whole life without that mental image burned into my brain. I hate the fact knowing this is almost certainly untrue doesn’t help.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Yup! I felt the same thing. It really makes absolutely no difference; the image is here to stay.

    • FemelleChevalier
      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You’re welcome!

      • Guest

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    • Lindsey Conklin

      ew ew ew ew ew

    • Alyssa

      Well.. she said that he needs a babysitter. Miley’s his new mommy!

    • OY

      please don’t tell me there are intelligent people in the world that actually believe this. please don’t. i’ll lose all faith in humanity. this is probably the dumbest (and grossest) bieber related rumor i’ve ever heard.

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