• Thu, Apr 24 - 1:01 pm ET

New Candace Cameron Quotes Proves She’s Still Confusing Her Husband With A Benevolent Dictator

dj tanner steve full house good hands quoteSo I rarely do this kinda thing on Crushable, but if you have any extra pity to spare today, please send it to Candace Cameron. Girl’s all kinds of confused about what makes a good marriage and she can really use any extra pity you can send her way. Also a map to 2014. She’s seem to have lost her’s and is currently stuck somewhere in the 1700s. Which, I’ll admit, is lovely this time of year, but a horrid place to be lost in forever. Mostly because the WiFi’s real weak.

According to my dear friends at HaveuHeard, she went on The View today to talk about her book and to clear up a few misconceptions about her marriage. Apparently people had gotten the wrong idea about her relationship with her husband, Val Bure. When she said she was submissive, she didn’t mean that she didn’t have the final say in what happens in her marriage. She just meant that she didn’t have the final final say.

When asked if she ever wins an argument, Cameron said, ‘It’s not winning or losing.’ She will provide her input and her husband makes the decision. If it doesn’t turn out the way he anticipated, Cameron said, ‘he will listen to me more next time.’

At first I was like, that’s messed up girl! And then I was like, oh wait I’m a total dum-dum idiot with a head full of baloney. Because, get this, I totally forgot that she has a vagina and her husband has a penis. I know, I know, I’m very embarrassed. Everyone who got a passing grade in 9th grade biology knows that when it comes to making decisions on the behalf of the family the wife gets a vote, the husband gets a vote, and the penis gets the tiebreaking vote. After remembering that basic fact, I reread what she had to say and it made so much more sense. Cam’s in great hands!

(GIF: Tumblr)

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  • JLH1986

    What kind of fuckery is this?

    • Jenni

      The biblical kind

    • JLH1986

      Head. Hurt.

    • guest

      Ahh :( Not all Christian’s are like this! Please don’t put us all into one basket. I am a Christian and also a feminist. :)

    • brebay

      Then you don’t abide by the teachings of your own book. You know you can believe in god and jesus and still not be a christian..

    • guest

      …Just because I don’t take a literal verse for verse interpretation of the Bible doesn’t mean I don’t still regard it as a Holy book.

  • capoupascap

    I just could never live like that….I don’t think I would ever feel in control of my own life

    • Jenni

      Yeah, but like, what would a woman need control for anyways?

    • http://fakegeekmom.com Aimee Ogden

      We’d probably all feel sooooo much better if we just gave up all control and power to the menfolk. Then we could be free to be controlled. I know what my husband wanted when we signed that marriage contract wasn’t really a partner, but something more like a hamster.

    • Jenni

      He did once tell me, “Aimee looks especially beautiful when she’s on a wheel.”

  • CMJ
  • Valerie

    Now I’m just picturing her with her husband and whatever he says she’s all cutesy and like “You got it duuuude!” Thumbs up and everything.

    • Jenni

      Followed by her soul slowly leaving her body and her eyes going blank

  • nikki753

    I’m trying to wrap my head around this. Buuuutttttt… are we talking just about where to go to dinner (which, still, I get to choose 50% of the time, pal, but there are no major lasting repercussions) or big, important things? Because if there’s something important, I don’t just sit back and go, “Oh, well, I tried to say that not putting a fence around the pool was dangerous but he didn’t like the look of it so we didn’t and now our kid is dead. Guess he’ll listen to me more next time.” “Oh well, I knew there would be a horrible outcome and now I’m along for the ride on the consequences. Guess he’ll listen to me more next time.” Nah. If it went the other way and my husband just rolled over on something important that he saw differently than me and knew the consequences were bad and just let it happen, I’d be furious.

    • Jenni

      Yeah, but think about how much leverage the dead kid would give you. Every time he wanted Olive Garden and you wanted Ruby Tuesday’s, you could just be like, “it’s totes your call, but remember our dead kid?”

    • nikki753

      Hahaha. I almost spit water all over my computer.

  • M_G

    Say what you will, but I think it was mighty nice of her husband to let her write a book (and NOT a cookbook, even!) in the first place. I hope he ups her weekly allowance if the book proves to be a bestseller.

    • Jenni

      At least enough to buy herself something nice. Like independence or a new purse.

  • Alyssa

    I had it when she said that a woman should always be open when her husband wants sex. Nope. Sah-wee. Not gonna fly.

    • Kelly

      Oh, did she say that? Well then fuck her. I’d respect her choices if she respected mine but if she said that she obviously doesn’t.

    • Assad

      No, Michelle Duggar said that.

    • Alyssa

      She said it too! I’m trying to remember what it was on. I’ll find a link

  • Jessifer

    But she LETS him make all the decisions. You folks just don’t “get” it!!! (massive eye roll)

  • Rachel Sea

    Child stars are the BEST source of sensible, down-to-Earth lifestyle advice.

    • MCR

      Indeed. I respect her lifestyle choices just like I respect Danny Bonaduce’s.

  • Kelly

    If that’s what she wants, I support her 100%. I’d rather die than live that way but it’s not my life, it’s hers and she should be free to make the choice to be submissive just like I should be free to make the choice not to be submissive.

    I only get pissed when people start spewing crap about how this is how wives should be and husbands should be or that certain activities are “mom things” or “dad things.” As long as she doesn’t start judging other people, I say more power to her.

    • Jenni

      Even if she wrote a book that calls these choices lessons? To quote Amazon.com “Working since the age of 5, Candace has been in a balancing act for nearly her entire life. She is the first to tell you that there is no miracle formula for perfect execution in every area of your life, but there definitely are some lessons to be learned, lessons that come to life in Candace’s story.”

    • Kelly

      I’m not an expert on everything Candace Cameron has said and I can’t see any reason why I’d ever read her book. If she says everyone should live that way, she’s a hypocritical cunt and deserves all the snarky comments she gets.

      But even if she is a total bitch and I wouldn’t associate with her, I’ll still defend her right to live whatever lifestyle she wants. I don’t see much difference between the Christian submissive and the BSDM submissive to be frank and people don’t seem to freak out over BDSM anymore. I have the same amount of respect for both. I don’t want anything to do with it but I will not try to stop a consenting adult from having the relationship of their choice with another consenting adult.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I wish I had a penis so I could be trusted to make decisions.

  • CW

    It isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about trying to work together as a team for what is best not for one spouse or the other, but for the family as a whole. I can’t speak to the Bure’s marriage because that’s between them and God. But in my marriage, my husband is head of household and I do look to him as leader of our family. But he is not at all domineering and he absolutely does NOT want me to be a doormat. He very much values my input and he wants me to speak up if I have concerns about whatever. Sometimes I will see some potential obstacle or pitfall that hadn’t occurred to him, and the last thing he wants me to do is follow him like a lemming over a cliff. It’s all about finding a way to express those concerns without creating a power struggle dynamic. It isn’t me vs. him but us trying to work together for the good of our family.