Dean McDermott Cheated On Tori Spelling Because Sex Every 14 Days Wasn’t Enough

Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling in True Tori April 2014Ugh you guys, I’m never getting married. Or at least, I’m never getting married to Dean McDermott. Not only is he now two for two in the category of Wives He’s Been Unfaithful To, but he also seems bound and determined to find a way to blame his cheating on the very person he was cheating on, in this case, Tori Spelling. Charming.

A more extensive clip has been released for Tori’s new reality show, True Toriwhich premieres tonight at 10:00pm on Lifetime, and in it, we see the couple undergoing marriage counseling. Because that’s totally something that should take place on camera and not behind closed doors. What could go wrong? (Answer: I could see it and write the exact post that I’m working on now.)

It starts with Dean complaining to their therapist about the slump their sex life has been in:

Dean: “We have four kids, so in the sex department, there were ebbs and flows. Is that fair to say?

Tori: “We had a great relationship, and we had a great sex life.”

Dean: “We had sex once every two weeks. It wasn’t…fantastic.”

Tori’s wild gesticulations, and a therapist so shocked by his statement that she doesn’t even bother to be neutral. In response to Tori’s disbelief, she just goes, “I know” and then follows that up with:

“Dean, your expectations of what a marriage is supposed to be like sexually — it’s like a fairytale.

UM YEAH. But seriously dude, every fourteen days? That was rarely enough for you to justifying straying outside your marriage? You guys have been married for eight years and had four children together! I’m honestly surprised you two have sex at all, let alone multiple times a month. There are a ton of guys (married and otherwise) out there who would trade places with  you in a heartbeat.

But he totally doesn’t get it, calling himself ‘insatiable’, and implying that he was so desperate for ‘a warm body’ that he slept with someone he wasn’t even attracted to. He refers to sex as ‘an escape, just like drugs or alcohol’, and everything that comes out of his mouth is so defensive that I’m marveling at the balls on this dude. And not in a good way.

He manages to get it so turned around that he’s almost describing himself as the victim here, saying that cheating is his nightmare.

“My worst nightmare is what I did. Absolutely. I cheated on my wife. That’s my worst nightmare.”

Yeah but the thing is, you were awake. So sack up and take some responsibility for yourself, because if we’re being fair, you know who this might be a bigger nightmare for? Your wife.

(Image: Lifetime)

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    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Yeah, he’s a jerk. And there’s a major difference between him saying that he has a problem and him saying that their sex life wasn’t great because they only had sex once every two weeks. He’s totally blaming Tori Spelling and then backpedaling by saying he can’t control his sexual urges.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      The majority of men base their decision on whether to spend their lives with a woman by how she is in bed. That’s just one reason I don’t respect the male gender. One track minds.

      • M_G

        That statement is offensively narrow-minded, unintelligent, and simply not true in the slightest. Are there men who do that? Sure. There are also plenty of women who do that, too. And I am betting you don’t have anything close to actual facts to back up your claims. Generalizations are dangerous and based in ignorance, not fact.

      • CMJ

        Weird. That’s one of my main factors – sexual compatibility.

        One track mind this female has.

      • Kelly

        Same here. Sexual compatibility is important to me. I have no desire to spend the rest of my life miserable because I’m unsatisfied sexually.

      • whiteroses

        Sure. But that’s not the only thing you base your relationships on, right?

      • CMJ

        Not at all. Just a main factor. It’s a component of compatibility.

      • KarenMS

        That’s just…not true. The majority of men enjoy sex and factor it into their lives, but to say the majority of men have one track minds and base their choice of life partner merely in sex is beyond false and is an extremely offensive stereotype.

        Edited to add that it’s also a damaging stereotype to perpetuate. It’s implying that the majority of women are in sham relationships in which the only thing they have to offer is sex.

      • whiteroses

        Wrong. So very, very wrong. Some men (and women) probably do feel that way, but others like sex not because it’s another warm crotch but because they can have it with someone they love. My husband is attractive, he’s gotten offers (sometimes when I’m with him) but he’s never taken them, because that’s just not how he’s wired.

        Disrespecting an entire gender based on a generalization that is, quite frankly, stupid is a terrible thing to do.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Ugh, I have a lot of issues with not only what he did, but the fact that there is a TV show about this. I feel bad for her, of course, but there is something so icky about this being the basis for a new reality show. Why not just seek therapy off camera and either fish or cut bait? It just seems like these people are so desperate to remain famous

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know! The only thing that makes it marginally okay for me is that Tori has said she’s in such a precarious position monetarily that she kind of has to do it. But I watched the first episode last night (shame) and she’s so weirdly presentational about it that I don’t know. She doesn’t seem like a genuine person, but how could you be, really, if you were brought up the way she was and lived the life she’s lived. I’m not sure what to thing.

      • Andrea

        Because not only she married this idiot, but her mother totally cut her out of her father’s millions, so she’s broke too.

        I feel for her a little bit.

    • loser_sneeze

      Cheating on his wife is his worst nightmare but he keeps on doing it. *breaks out world’s tiniest violin*

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Right? Not about you, dude. Put it together.

      • loser_sneeze

        But…but…if she’d just put out more…and he has NEEDS! He doesn’t want to do it but he has a fever and the only prescription is more vagina!

    • Kelly

      It’s awful that he cheated but is it really so shocking for a person to want sex more often than once every two weeks?

      I’d have a problem with that. If that was a permanent situation, I’d consider divorce.

      • CMJ

        I don’t think it’s shocking but I think it was shocking to her because she thought it was great and he thought it wasn’t enough..It’s a communication thing.

        ETA: And he’s clearly a douche.

      • Kelly

        I understand that his wife was shocked. I don’t understand why the therapist was shocked. They’re in counseling, they should be honest. As much as he’s an asshole for cheating, if they’re going to work it out, he needs to be honest. He doesn’t consider sex every two weeks fantastic. Neither do I. Lying about it and pretending it’s great won’t help anyone.

      • JLH1986

        I took it as the counselor challenging him a bit on his constant defensive responses. Of course she could have truly been shocked he thought 4 kids under 7 shouldn’t stop the constant banging. But, as usual, @disqus_2gu5NE3U3i:disqus hit the nail on the head. There was clearly ZERO communication between the two of them regarding their sex life. It appears that he never (before that moment) said to her, hey, I’d really like to have sex more than 2x a month. He didn’t even give her a chance to address the issue. And in response to your first comment, for some people 2x a month is perfectly normal and she could genuinely be shocked. Others 2x a day is perfectly normal. That’s why the total lack of communication is far more dangerous than the cheating.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Agreed. Well said.

      • SunnyD847

        Exactly. If he had a problem with it he should have talked to his wife, not cheated on her. Maybe if he put as much effort into his marriage as he does in sleeping around his wife would want to have sex more.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Very nicely stated.

      • Ashie

        I dont think it is shocking for a person to want sex more often than once every two weeks, but does he even consider the fact that she has had 4 kids back to back??? Their youngest one is just over a year, a 2 year old, a 5 year old and a 6 year old. I really don’t think that that is the permanent situation, maybe just for now with her being tired from children non-stop. I know myself when my kids were super young, sex just didn’t happen all the time. Now that they are older, sleep more etc. there is more sex.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        That’s what I mean! How do you find time for yourselves when there are four small children running around?

      • AlexMMR

        My husband somehow managed to remain faithful when he had to go without for a full year (complicated pregnancy and recovery). Some men actually love their wives on not just the crotches they have access to.

      • brebay

        Furreal. A real man can handle his own business for a while when his wife is carrying his child, has just given birth to his child, or is exhausted from raising four of his children!

      • Ro

        Yes, thank you! The thought of someone considering divorce because the sex is less frequent for a few years while the children are young is shocking to me. Marriage should not be that disposable. My youngest is a year and a half and I’m just getting my mojo back. My husband has been very understanding. Did he want more sex? Yes!! Did he ever make me feel like our relationship was at stake? No!! In fact he has always been very supportive of me. I guess I picked a good one.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Sounds like you did!

      • whiteroses

        Yes. My husband and I have our problems, but sex has never been one of them. However, if we stopped having sex tomorrow, DH wouldn’t try to get it from somewhere else. Because he loves me and he understands he’s not the only person in the relationship.

      • whiteroses

        In a healthy marriage, sex ebbs and flows, especially when you have toddlers. And you deal with it when that happens. Not having sex for two weeks, especially when you have four young children, is not a justification for cheating.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      Let this be a lesson to you ladies. If you wanna keep your douchebag hubby/boyfriend, you better put out more!

      • Andrea

        Unfortunately, this isn’t the only time that message has been relayed.

    • JLH1986

      My favorite (if that’s appropriate regarding this) was when Tori asked “or that you got caught?” in reference to his “nightmare”. His face was all “damn, busted again!”

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Yeah seriously! I’m glad she called him out on that.

    • JJ

      Do these two forget they have a family full of children, some of whom are getting a lot older, and can see this stuff about their parents marital life and sex life on tv or the internet. I am not against couples working things our or going to therapy but is it so hard to do it privately between just you two and your therapists. I know they live a fairly wealthy lifestyle and have had some financial issues but is really worth sharing all your private marital issues for money? I don’t think that is necessarily going to help you out in fact it just adds more stress to the situation because your being followed by camera’s. I hope those poor kids never stumble upon this or have to be made fun of at school because of it. I certainly would not want to know that much about my parents sex lifestyle and marital issues.

    • JJ

      On a more shallow note he seems to be getting really bad looking just quite rough. While he was always a douchebag he was at least sort of attractive but he is looking rough in those screen caps yeesh.

    • A. Levy

      So is that why he cheated on his first family with Tori? Mary Jo didn’t put out enough?

    • brebay

      The new wife always thinks the cheating was about the old wife. And it just never is. It’s about the person doing the cheating. They think “He won’t cheat on me because I’m better/thinner/prettier” and they just miss the point. Camilla Horse-face Bowles was NOT prettier than Princess Diana, A crack ho was not prettier than Elizabeth Hurley, and Tori was not prettier/better in bed/ cooler than Dean’s ex. IT’S ABOUT HIM!!!!!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Yuppppp.

    • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

      Skeezeball.

    • Pappy

      I literally opened a separate tab on my browser just so I could listen to “Your Cheatin’ Heart” while reading this. Patsy Cline FTW!