In the eleven months since I graduated from college, I think I’ve gathered just enough real-life experience to say that graduating and entering the work force is the WORST. I want to stay in school and study superheroes and YouTube forever.
With the exception of feeding myself on a very tight budget, nothing I learned in college has been put to use yet. Here I sit, eager to share my knowledge of twentieth century American literature and there aren’t any
employers takers. When they say “stay in school” I know they don’t mean “stay in school forever and avoid that work-life” but how nice would it be if they did?
If you are like me, and got a tiny bit jealous during the season finale of Girls when Shoshanna learns she can’t graduate yet, I am here to comfort you. If you are not like me, and are excited to be an adult, here are 10 movies that will make you never want to graduate.
1. The Graduate
“Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?” — Mr. Braddock
My question exactly, Mr. Braddock.
“Don’t you DARE tell me this was all for nothing! I gave the best four years of my life to you.” -Me to my college
2. Reality Bites
“I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23.” — Lelaina Pierce
By now I thought I would have been plucked out of my freelance life and whisked off to either stardom or maybe a full time job I love with benefits and free beer in the kitchen and puppies that visit every Friday. Is my Millennial showing?
3. Post Grad
“This is not the way it’s supposed to go, you’re not supposed to comeback when you’ve already left the nest!” — Ryden Malby
Real talk: Living in my childhood bedroom the summer after I graduated was bizarre. It was like any progress I made had been negated. Alexis Bledel gets it… or at least the writer’s of this movie do.
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.” -Bryan
This is basically what I say on job interviews now (just replace “ransom” with “unpaid internships”).
5. Tiny Furniture
“Plus no one is financially independent until they’re at least 25, or even 30!” What do you think you’ll do?” — Charlotte
Say what you want about Lena Dunham but this line is a little comforting. I feel less bad about my struggle to be a strong independent woman and what not.
6. Monsters Inc.
“You didn’t file your paperwork last night.” -Roz
You thought twelve page papers were tough? Wait until you have to file daily paperwork for your new office life. GOOD LUCK. Note: This Pixar darling also highlights what it is like to have a corrupt boss and work in a dangerous environment.
7. Office Space
“So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”- Peter Gibbins
As a part-time data entry temp trust me when I say Office Space perfectly captures what life is like when you work in a cubicle and are miserable most of the time. It is as fun as it sounds.
8. The Devil Wears Prada
“I don’t know what else I can do because if I do something right, it’s unacknowledged. She doesn’t even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious.” -Andy Sachs
I think we can all agree that the best part of The Devil Wears Prada is when Anne Hathaway turns down her grilled cheese sandwich and Adrian Grenier gets to eat two. Anyway, Meryl Streep wasn’t that bad of a boss in this movie but you might have a boss that is the total and complete worst.
9. Working Girl
“Never burn bridges. Today’s junior prick, tomorrow’s senior partner” -Katharine Parker
Ah, Working Girl, the classic tale of a young lady’s idea being stolen then she steal her boss’s identity in an effort to steal the idea back. Basically, buckle up kiddo because the real world is full of crazy shenanigans that just make me stressed. No thank you.
10. Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus
If you haven’t heard of this movie, Michael Cera stars as a very annoying young man traveling Chile in search of a local halluinogen. The reason I included it on this this list is because a) you graduated and this is the real world now so these hippie drug vacations will be almost obsolete and b) you will encounter people you do not like on your career journey, much like the characters in this. Honestly, isn’t it just way easier to stay in college with people you already like than enter the real world?
If we can’t go to Hogwarts, lets all take out more student loans and curl up into a ball!