While playing Andy Cohen’s “Plead the Fifth” game on Watch What Happens Live last night, Lindsay Lohan confessed to making her infamous sex list. You know the sex list I’m talking about, right? The one that named every famous guy in Hollywood you’ve ever crushed on, plus Ashton Kutcher. I personally remember being over the moon with excitement when In Touch first published it. After all, some of these men are married. MARRIED! Sorry Olivia Pope, but it doesn’t get any more scandalous than that.
So naturally when I heard that Linds addressed it on WWHL, I got real pumped up to watch it. “OooOOo, this is going to be fun,” I said aloud to my kitchen table, “this is going to be reeallll goood.” My kitchen table said nothing back, but I could it was just as excited as I was to see this go down. I mean, it’s the list.
And then I watched. Guys, warning you right now, it is not good. It is depressing and heartbreaking and ugh. It turns out she didn’t make that list as a fun joke during a slumber party with Oprah, but as part of her rehabilitation efforts when she was at Betty Ford.
“You know, I’m going to get serious for a second. That was actually my fifth step in AA at Betty Ford. And someone, when I was moving during the OWN show, must have taken a photo of it. And so that’s a really personal thing and it’s really unfortunate.”
Anyone else want to join me in hating myself for being the worst? Yes? Cool, I’ll be in the corner quoting Parent Trap lines to myself and trying to forget this ever happened.