• Wed, Apr 16 - 4:11 pm ET

Tori Spelling Is Shocked Dean Cheated On Her, Even Though Their Relationship Started That Way

Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling leaving restaurant in Los Angeles July 2013Don’t you hate it when you start a relationship by cheating with a married guy and then he cheats on you in return? Aren’t you so totally shocked by that? Well maybe you aren’t, but Tori Spelling most definitely is.

You see, when Tori first met her current husband Dean McDermott in 2005 on the set of the TV movie Mind Over Murder, they were both involved in pesky little marriages to other people. Tori was with Charlie Shanian, whom she’d been married to since 2004, and although he didn’t know it at the time, Dean was coming to the end of his twelve year marriage with Mary Jo Eustace. But that didn’t bother either of them, as they reportedly began their affair the very first night they met and were married one month after Tori’s divorce was finalized? That’s classy.

It’s also why I’m having a lot of difficulty rustling up any sympathy for Tori in the midst of this new cheating scandal. You can tune in to watch it on Lifetime in all its cringe-worthy glory if you’d like, or you can just listen to Tori talk about it to Us Weekly. Either way, you’re gonna be biting your tongue to avoid saying, “I told you so”.

“He was my soulmate, but he completely broke my heart. It makes you not trust anything that’s happened in your relationship. [...] He cheated on me. One of my worst fears came true. On some level I never thought it would really happen.”

I understand that being a fear, but on some level, you must have always known this was a possibility, right? I mean, the moment you started your affair, you had categorical proof that this guy would cheat on someone he was married to, so what’s up? He knew you for ONE DAY when he threw away his decade-long marriage and the child he was in the process of adopting, so it’s hard to act indignant on your behalf. Not to be unfeeling, but you knew what you were getting into.

Apparently he denied hooking up with Emily Goodhand at first, then admitted he kissed her, then finally to the whole thing:

“He sounded remorseful. He sounded like a husband who had gotten caught. He took full responsibility.”

He acknowledged that ‘he had hit rock bottom’ and needed to go get help, so he went and did that, although Tori won’t confirm that he sought treatment for sex addiction. But even now that Dean’s back, she’s not really clear on the direction of their marriage.

“I don’t know if my marriage can be saved, [but] you don’t stop loving someone because they do something really bad to you. I owe this relationship more than just saying something horrible happened and dismissing it. I need to figure out if he can change. He has to take responsibility for what he did and part of owning up to that is being honest about it.”

Alright girl, you do you. I’m familiar with the saying ‘once a cheater always a cheater’, but I don’t know how the adage ‘twice a cheater ends’, so godspeed, I guess?

“I feel so judged, but it’s not black and white.”

Sigh.

(Photo: Greg Tidwell / WENN.com)

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  • Lindsey Conklin

    every girl wants to believe they are the one to change the bad boy. he can cheat on others, but he wont cheat on me…I get her perspective, but I’m with ya, the level of empathy is pretty slight

    • Tailisin

      Why is it that so many Women feel that they are the ones that can “tame the bad boy”?
      Although, I find it egocentric and ridiculous that a huge majority of Women begin their relationships by commiting adultry or having an affair with a man already married or in an alleged monogomous situation, the man leaves that partner and then after living or marrying the orher woman? The Other Woman turned Wife eventually turns into the jilted spouse..Then, like Tori, they seemed shocked that their bad boys had the nerve to cheat on them as well! Really? A realationship which begins with lies, cheating, hurting other people and in their case resulted in blindsiding two spouses, breaking up two homes, one 12 year marriage, with one son and a baby pending adoption. Seriously, what kind of moraly corrupt people actually meet each other, do a TV movie and ” fall head over heels in love” and proclaim each other as their “soul mates”. Come back, break up with their spouses, right after filming. Then, get married right after both divorces are finalized? Cold blooded? You betcha.. Tori & Dean sold us on their “True Love S-Tori” and popped out babies and we didn’t condone it but we eventually drank the McDermott kool-aid and began enjoying them. Or, we loved Tori..
      Eventually, all actions have a reaction. Karma, the three fold law or a Spouse that has a history of infidility will eventually cheat. It is in his nature and he has gotten away with it and validated for it..

  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Had no idea that’s how their relationship started. Wow.

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  • C

    I don’t know why I feel the need to defend, I HATE cheaters, but for some reason? I dunno- here goes: I’ve read all of Tori books (I. don’t. know. why) and she talks about how her&Dean were both unhappy in their marriages. So, yes, she knows he’s been a cheater, but it could still come as a shock since they have 4 kids and Dean has always seemed very happy with her. I also want to defend the TV show they are doing- it’s for money. ALL of it. They don’t want the publicity, they don’t want to do this- they have to. She’s also talked about (in her books) their financial troubles, and while some of it’s obviously her own fault, perhaps it’s not easy being good with money when you grew up the way she did. She needs to do this series to support her family, and if her new ABC family series “Mystery Girls” does good, she will not continue this. So the hate for her on this should stop; she needs the money. Another thing- sex addiction. In the promo Tori talks about it, and it’s something I’ve always assumed. Throughout her books there are no mentions of addiction, but a lot of sex stories that always had me thinking ‘man, he’s ALWAYS wanting it, isn’t he?’ .. so this happening makes me think it’s completely true that, it’s not that he wanted to go out and cheat, it’s that he’s pretty much obsessed with f**king, and Tori can’t be available all the time. LASTLY; she was in a horrible (that is the word she used) marriage, working for her Father, and under a lot of her mothers control when she met&fell for Dean- he was like a savior to her. I know how that feels. Now they have children, pets, and business’ together; so while it might seem eye-roll worthy that she wouldn’t immediately kick him to the curb, I get how it would be hard. &That’s that. All I have to say. I hope Dean can get better and they can work it out, but either way I just want Tori to be happy. I don’t know why, I just think she seems like an all around good person&Mother. The end.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      That’s fair. But I think the sooner she breaks free of her naivety and acknowledges her own worth and potential for independence, the better. For her kids, for her marriage, for her own mental health, for everything.

    • C

      Agreed. It seems a lot of the time that she feels she’d be nothing without him, and I definitely want to see her discontinue that way of thinking; theeen make serious life choices.

    • NYCNanny

      wait. Didn’t she cheat on her first husband, too?? So she’s no “better” than him.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I’m not sure what you’re getting at here, but yes, she did cheat on her first husband, which is not okay.

  • NickNack

    Why does it seem so hard for certain people to get divorced and then have a relationship? Not have a relationship, get caught, and then get divorced. If they weren’t happy in their respective marriages, they probably should have, I don’t know, let their significant others know, and then separated from them. That would have been far better than ruining their own reputations, and humiliating their former spouses. So, I’m not shocked at all this happened.

    • Tailisin

      Mature, Adults know when their relationships are no longer working and act accordingly.
      Obviously, if you are even thinCounsellinghaving relations outside of your marriage, then your marriage is in trouble.
      If you believe you have fallen in love with someone other than your partner. You have two choices, yoexpectationsu go into Marriage Counselling and try to work on your marriage or you simply end your marriage honestly, fair and with dignity. This means a separation, division of property, child custody and support issues. You get your own home and go through your divorce and after your divorce is finalized, you may start dating.
      Impulsive, spoiled and entitled people only care about their own desires and act impulsively.
      They, like Tori & Dean, break up with their spouses without warning. Move in together immediatley and continue their affairs, playing house and then get married while still in the whole excitment and lust of the affair, without really getting to know the other person. Then, there are all kinds of unrealistic expectations and fantasy invested. The relationship usually fails because you can not trust each other.
      You relationship began with lies, cheating and hurting others. You need to be able to trust your life partner.
      Reality TV was the best arena for these two to live in their delusional ” Fairytale Marriage”.. Apparently, it is the perfect venue to end one or clean up a huge public relation/ career mess. That is what this series is. A career saver.

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  • Elizabeth Aspen

    Yep, read her book and she said it started with a first-night booty call.

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