• Tue, Apr 15 - 9:49 am ET

Might As Well Start Your Day Watching Robert Pattinson Have Sex In A Limo (NSFW)

Robert Pattinson having sex with Julianne Moore in Maps to the Stars trailer April 2014I held out for as long as I could pretending that I wasn’t gonna watch an NSFW video before breakfast, but then I saw the words ‘Robert Pattinson‘ and ‘limo sex’ in the same sentence, and I knew I was a goner.

This little nugget of automobile-based intimacy is buried in the trailer for the upcoming film Maps to the Starswhich is coming out sometime this year. (That’s not me being lazy and not looking it up — when you Google the release date, all that comes up is ’2014′, and it’s the same thing in the trailer.) But anyway, it’s in post-production now, being directed by David Cronenberg, who also worked with R-Pattz on Cosmopolisand I can’t quite tell what I’m looking at.

It’s being promoted as ‘a complex look at Hollywood and what it reveals about Western culture’, a cliche sentiment that absolutely comes through in the dark, moody colors and the stilted dialogue. Oh and it stars Mia Wasikowska, which I’m pretty sure is one of the requirements of an artsy indie film at this point.

But anyway, you probably don’t care about. You came here because I told you Rob has sex with someone in a limo, AND HE DOES, so let’s get to that. He plays a limo driver who gets involved with a client named Havana, played by Julianne Moore. You only catch a brief glimpse of their spirited humping at 1:52, and it’s pretty much nonstop sex and intrigue after that point, so make sure you hold out.

Basically it’s just a tantalizing little taste of the nonsense that awaits us in 2014 when this epic melodrama is finally released. (Jizz-related pun absolutely intended.)

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  • Jenni

    For every good choice Julianne Moore makes, she makes 100000 bad ones. What is this?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      NON-STOP CHOICES.

    • Jenni

      I see what you did there. And for that I can’t help but give you a raise. How does one million more dollars sound?

    • Jake

      lol, THIS is one of the good ones. It’s premiering at Cannes, not languishing at Sundance, looking for distribution. Most actors would jump at the chance to work with Cronenberg, he’s not exactly a first timer, is he?

  • Katie Kat

    The video has been removed already. Awesome.

  • Marilyn

    A Cronenberg sex/suspense/thriller/inside Hollywood flick? With this cast? I’m there.

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