Happy 32nd birthday to my imaginary stoner boyfriend Seth Rogen! The “imaginary” part refers to the fact that he’s not my boyfriend, not that he’s not a stoner. Because he is one. A stoner. He’s a stoner in movies and a stoner in real life. It’s kind of his shtick, but he makes it work. And he only missed being born on 4/20 by five days! I bet he was too stoned in the womb to stick it out.
Okay, enough about Seth Rogen being stoned and more about other celebrities being stoned. When you read and watch and listen to enough about celebrities as I do, you realize that famous people really love weed. If I had a dollar for every time a star was spotted with a “suspicious cigarette,” I’d have so many dollars I could afford to roll a bunch of them into joints and smoke them. But what’s even more fun than seeing a creepy voyeuristic paparazzi photo of a celebrity lighting up is hearing them talk about it themselves. So in honor of Seth’s big day, let’s look at twelve celebs who’ve openly discuss their stoner experiences.
P.S. Don’t do drugs.
1. Seth Rogen
Let’s start with the birthday boy himself. Last year on Conan, Seth told a story about being hungover, eating a pot brownie and consuming an intense burger before getting on an early morning flight. He apparently fell asleep and the flight attendants thought he had a seizure so they called paramedics. The story ends with him shouting, “I did not have a seizure! I had a marijuana brownie and an Angry Whopper!” But you should watch him tell it here.
2. Miley Cyrus
We all know Miley Cyrus loves weed, so much so that she lit up a joint onstage at an award show. She also loves to talk about weed, like in her Rolling Stone interview when she shared this gem:
“I think weed is the best drug on earth. One time I smoked a joint with peyote in it, and I saw a wolf howling at the moon.”
I’m still waiting to find out if she can paint with all the colors of the wind. Maybe that’ll happen the next time she gets high.
3. Kathy Griffin
I love Kathy Griffin’s stand-up specials because it feels like you’re just hanging out with her sharing stories. Except her stories are more hilarious than mine will ever be, and also she’s the only one talking. One of her stories involves the time she ate a pot brownie:
“So I sit in my bed in the hotel room and I flip on the TV… and I see my pal Suze Orman… and because I know her and was watching her show, I could not tell when she was inside the TV and when she was sitting next to me. Which, it turns out, I found the next day, she was not in the room… And then I noticed the photos on the wall change size… and I remember thinking, I should talk to the manager of the hotel.”
This is why I don’t do drugs.
In a story that should not be mentioned when teaching high schoolers to just say no, Drake revealed that he was high when he auditioned for Degrassi. And it was the first time he’d done weed too (with the cool Jewish kids, natch) so he was super high:
“I started really getting paranoid… I was like splashing water on my face constantly. It was like a Clearasil commercial… It was like ten Clearasil commercials… And I ended up getting the callback and getting the role.”
But he wants you to know that he keeps his weed life separate from his work life now. Don’t do drugs or else you’ll get cast on a TV show and become a famous rapper.
5. Rachel McAdams
You know when you’re having trouble sleeping so you ask your friendly Canadian grocer for advice and he gives you some weed to smoke? Rachel McAdams does. And she did not enjoy it:
“I said ‘I’m really upset,’ he was like ‘Oh it didn’t put you to sleep?’ And then I realized, I really looked at him and his eyes were like this big. I was like ‘You’re a stoner!’”
Oh Rachel, you weird Canadian sunflower.
6. Susan Sarandon
Last year Hollywood’s free-spirited aunt Susan Sarandon went on Watch What Happens Live, and Andy Cohen asked her to name an event she attended stoned. Here’s the answer she gave:
“I would say almost all except the Oscars.”
Good to know that’s where she draws the line. Although this year Ellen would have totally cured her munchies with that pizza.
7. Matthew McConaughey
Turns out Matthew McConaughey came up with his catchphrase “Alright, alright, alright” when he was high during filming for Dazed and Confused and listening to a Doors song where Jim Morrison sings that very phrase:
“I’m in my car, I’m high as a kite, I’m listening to rock and roll – action! — and there’s the chick… alright alright alright.”
And now he’s an Oscar winner. Another story to leave out of your anti-drug classes.
8. Justin Timberlake
Turns out JT was stoned during his episode of Punk’d, which happened to be the premiere. I can imagine how annoying it would be to be on that show sober, let alone under the influence of something. It actually got him to stop smoking pot for “nine to ten months” after that. So… then you started again? Here’s what he told Playboy:
“I was so stoned. If you ask my friends, if they’re honest they would probably say that’s the only way to get me as dizzy as I was. What you didn’t see from the episode, because it was a 45-minute affair cut down to 10 minutes, was me showing up and being like, ‘What the f*** are you people doing on my property? Get the f*** off my property! Get the f*** out of here!’ Then they started rattling off my parents’ address, and I was like, ‘Holy s***. Hold on a second.’ I mean, everybody was got good on that show — me probably the best.”
9. Cameron Diaz
The most famous celebrity stoner, at least of the modern age, is probably Snoop Dogg. Turns out he’s been BFFs with weed since high school, when he sold it to Cameron Diaz:
“He was very tall and skinny and wore lots of ponytails in his hair. I’m sure I probably bought weed from him.”
So she doesn’t even remember if it was him or not. I’m guessing that was some effective weed, then.
10. Louis CK
During a stand-up special, Louis CK described his experience smoking pot with a group of 20-year-olds and taking really big hits, and it was predictably hilarious:
“Even the kid with the wooden hole of no ear… the absence of flesh in his ear with wood… I don’t know what that is. Even he was like, ‘You should be careful. That’s a lot of pot. That’s very strong marijuana…” At one point I realized, I need to get out of here, because the air is hitting my arm weirdly, and they can tell.”
He also recently revealed that he goes to IMAX 3D movies stoned, which sounds absolutely horrifying. But it’s mostly just the interactions with other people that scare him, so he doesn’t buy food there. Good to know.
11. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Turns out smoking weed really does give some people great ideas. That includes JGL, who was stoned when he came up with the concept for his movie Don Jon:
“I pace around and have all sorts of good ideas … I was stoned when I first thought of Don Jon as a comedy … The way I use [pot], I absolutely think it has a positive influence on my creative process.”
Oh, and he’s also done LSD a “handful” of times, but wants to make sure everyone’s careful with it. Or you could just not do it in the first place. That’s a good technique as well.
12. Jennifer Aniston’s Hair Stylist
Speaking of great ideas that came about as a result of weed, that famous “Rachel” haircut Jennifer Aniston had in the ’90s was a result of her hair stylist Chris McMillan being stoned. I know he’s not technically a celebrity, but I have to include him because it’s just too iconic:
“I’m 14 years sober, so I feel safe enough to say that.”
And the rest is hair history.