• Tue, Apr 15 - 3:37 pm ET

8 Quotes That Prove Ariana Grande Should Stick To Singing And Not Speaking

Ariana Grande smile

(via)

Has anyone else become sort of disillusioned with Ariana Grande lately? When I first heard about her, all I knew was that she had an incredible singing voice and catchy songs, starred on a Nickelodeon show I’d never watched, was super pretty, and had a funky sense of style. Aaaand then I started to read and watch interviews with her, and things got weird. She says some strange, confusing, whatcha-gettin-at-there-Ariana type things. The alleged cheating and the collaboration with Chris Brown (which ended up not actually happening) didn’t help.

It’s sort of like how everyone laid eyes on Ryan Lochte and screamed, “Abs!!! He must be my husband immediately!!!” And then he started talking and showing just how few brain cells he has and everyone simmered down and pretended they were never attracted to him. It just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover… or its Mariah Carey-esque singing voice. Ariana’s young, so I guess can cut her some slack, although I’m frankly tired of slack-cutting. That still doesn’t mean I’m not gonna outline a few of the weirdest things she’s said. In the words of the Dixie Chicks’ conservative haters, shut up and sing.

1. When she tweeted she had a bone removed from her head.

“I just had a bone taken out of my skull how’s ur day.”

Ariana tweeted this yesterday, and it kinda sorta sounded like something her fans should be concerned about, since having bones removed from your skull doesn’t sound like great news. But turns out it was just a wisdom tooth extraction. Perhaps laughing gas was involved in this one.

2. When she talked about cow tits.

“In America, almost everybody thinks you need to have meat for protein. Protein, protein, protein! And what’s in dairy? Calcium, calcium, calcium. It’s those kinds of proteins that latch onto the insides of your blood- stream and make it easier for you to have a heart attack. Look, cows produce milk with nutrients for cows. Maybe that’s why Americans end up looking like cows! Ultimately, no one wants cow tit pus in their food, do they?”

I… don’t think that’s how health works. I’m certainly no doctor, but neither is Ariana. I also don’t think “cow tit pus” is a technical term, but what do I know? This was for an interview where she stripped down to a strange set of undies to add to the weirdness.

3. When she referred to music as her “dharma” in the same interview.

“Music is my dharma. It’s what makes my heart smile and what I feel like I am meant to do. I understand music more than I understand human beings and the English language.”

Yeah, that seems very apparent, which is why you should probably focus more on the music and less on the talking. I hate to be all judgey (except I totally don’t), but people who talk like this are going to end up being responsible for my eyes permanently rolling into the back of my head. And then they’re going to get a strongly worded letter.

4. When she got weirdly defensive about her ponytail.

“So as annoying as it is for y’all to have to look at the same hairstyle all the time, it’s all that works for now (AND I’m comfortable for the first time in years)…So PLEASE gimmie a break about the hair (or just don’t look at me lol). IT’S JUST HAIR AFTER ALL. There are way way way more important things.”

Ariana Grande’s ever-present ponytail will no doubt mystify the world for decades to come. She wears it all the time, and when she actually posted a photo of herself with her hair down, she subsequently deleted it. So she explained that bleach and hair dye for Victorious destroyed her hair and she had to get extensions and doesn’t like the way it looks down. Okay, no need to get touchy. We just wanted to know what you’re hiding in there.

5. When she tried to defend Justin Bieber, but it didn’t really work.

“He can do whatever he wants! He’s doing the same thing as every other boy in the world right now, he’s just under a microscope, and he’s being scrutinized by people who don’t know him. I know him, and he’s a good person. He really is, he’s a nice person. And everybody’s like, ugh, it’s, nevermind, but, it’s, he’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve what he’s going through.”

Not only is Justin not doing the same thing as every other boy in the world (partly because he isn’t a boy), but Ariana couldn’t even complete her defense of him, because it’s just that fruitless.

6. When she said she doesn’t even like acting.

“I never liked acting. I auditioned for TV just to get a platform to get a record deal and then I fell in love with acting because it was fun. After I’m done playing Cat Valentine I don’t see myself doing much acting, but I would do a scary movie or a musical.”

Okay, so  you don’t like acting except that you do, but you don’t ever want to do it again? Huh? Acting did help you get a record deal, Ariana. That’s the exact reason you shouldn’t be telling us that you don’t like it, even if it is true.

7. When she said she’s Kabbalah.

“It is the practice of being a good person and how that will manifest good things in your life. People don’t really realize that if you are kind you can make all sorts of things happen for you.”

You know, that trendy religion every celebrity in the early-2000s subscribed to for like five minutes and then everyone forgot about. Well apparently Ariana wants to bring it back into style… before she inevitably gets sick of it and we never hear about it again. But good to know that in order to be kind you have to practice Kabbalah.

8. When she said she gets her clothes from sex shops.

“Brigitte, my stylist, always turns up with her arms full of cool outfits; I don’t even know where she gets them from. Once, we were shopping for Halloween costumes with a friend of mine and we accidentally ended up in a sex shop. The girl who was working there was like, ‘Oh, I make your costumes!’ I was like, ‘What?’ and she said, ‘Yes, this is where Brigitte gets your outfits from!’”

I just… what is this girl’s life?! I cannot get over her insistence that she “accidentally” ended up in a sex shop. Suuure, just like I “accidentally” ate that entire family-size bag of potato chips the other day.

Share This Post:
  • Kaitlin Reilly

    LOL at the second one. I’m sure that there is an argument to be made for consuming less animal protein but it just came out ridiculous. She’s clearly been reading Skinny Bitch.

    • JLH1986

      I couldn’t even understand WTF she was trying to get across in that. Americans look like cows? Cow tit pus? What?

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Hahaha, right?! I think she’s attempting to summarize a Skinny Bitch-esque vegan philosophy and it’s just not working.

  • guest

    she always rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning and i’m glad i’m not the only one who sees it. Honestly, i think she’s full of hot air and someone needs to remind her of how much work it takes to get far (read: taylor swift)

  • FemelleChevalier

    It’s actually the show Victorious. She just recently started wearing a wig in Sam and Cat.

    …babysitting is a lucrative familial forced labor job.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Ah you’re right. It’s been fixed.

  • Olivia

    I can’t even believe how mean spirited this article is.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Chill out, it’s all in fun. And celebs need to be called out on their goofy statements and behavior sometimes.

    • Guest

      But people don’t have to be rude about it…

    • Aundrea

      Why? Just because their celebrities? You need to be called out. Mind your own damn business. You don’t know her, no one on this page knows her. She says stuff like this because she’s pressured and people like you are getting into her personal life.

  • bambi

    You know there’s something about her that constantly screams “I’m better than you and we both know it” and she smiles as if she’s doing the cameras a HUGE favour. Also, she reminds me of Emmy Rossum. All these things aren’t good things. *deep sigh*

  • Mishelle

    I can’t stand her… She’s so fake and annoying. Let her and biebs run off to hell and get married.

  • Jon

    “8 Quotes That Prove Ariana Grande Should Stick To Singing And Not Speaking”

    Out of curiosity, if a man wrote this article with the accompanying title, how many readers would be offended?

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      I wouldn’t be offended if a man wrote this at all. Unless he was writing it because he wanted to pick on her simply because she’s a female, which is not the point of the article. Why is it wrong to point out when a celebrity – male or female – is being a bit of a douche?

    • JLH1986

      I thought about this and then made it “8 Quotes That Prove Justin Bieber Should Stick to Singing and Not Speaking” and it worked. Because this wasn’t based on her gender, it was based on dumb things she said.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Thanks, I’m glad that got across.

    • JLH1986

      I’m still stuck on cow tit pus? What in the actual fuck?

    • Jill O’Rourke

      She should trademark it.

  • http://twitter.com/MARvelous_inc L.M.S.

    Ariana’s reaction to this article:

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Haha!

  • Crystal

    Ya, this article sucked… You guys are kinda being bullies. Just because a person says weird/dumb shit sometimes doesn’t make them an idiot… Just be cool and stop being judgemental, it makes you all look very ugly.

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  • leslie

    she’s just a tryhard haha

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  • xtina

    It’s just hate and jealousy and taking things out of context. She is obviously talented and she is doing things with her life while everyone else talks junk behind a computer screen. We don’t personally know her. So please, just do something better with your life rather than trolling on someone who never personally hurt you in any way.

  • sagemini

    Yeah she’s pretty but people are mostly looking at her beauty and saying all these wonderful things and that she’s the “next” Mariah Carey. If she is the “next” Mariah Carey then I think she would be acting like her own age. Just look at the woman or should I say ‘girl’ dresses like a 5 year old on Easter lmao. Her ditziness makes me think ‘what is this chick smokin’ lol..I mean calling her fans assholes and saying that she feels “sorry” for them because no one will be wishing them a happy birthday after they’re dead (She tweeted happy bday to Marilyn Monroe and added #inspiration). Just because every one who admires you but disagrees with your opinions doesn’t give you the right to call all of them a cruel word. Then after that you blame them on how it was our fault for what she did…I actually like the Kardashians 100 times more than Ariana Grande. Even Kendall and Kylie, the youngest of the pack act a lot more mature than her especially the way they dress. Here’s a picture of Ariana 20 years old at the time with Kylie Jenner 15 at the time it was taken:

    • sagemini

      :;;

  • Dallas

    Everyone does thibgs that not everyone either likes or understands and that is natural it’s what humans do and I think that it is fine that you expressed you opinion because we are entitled and I can not change that about you. I would like to say that it didn’t have to be gone about with such hostility and you didn’t have to.be so mean spirited about it, that makes people angry and defensive I don’t know if you could care less about people’s feelings but I’m just putting that out there.

  • Jessica

    It’s funny how you know absolutely nothing about her hahahahahahhaa

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Glad you’re getting a kick out of it!

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  • Aisha

    Its true. Success turns people into dumbasses

  • cattyface

    I can’t stand her.I thought I was being weaird but it looks like she’s disliked by a lot of people.She is dumb as a post.Her and Avril Lavigne should hang out to talk about who is hotter.