• Mon, Apr 14 - 4:29 pm ET

Justin Bieber Wins The Award For Worst Coachella Outfit Of 2014 All Time

Justin Bieber performing at Coachella April 2014

Abandon all hope, ye who see Justin Bieber‘s Coachella outfit. For once you have seen it, it becomes immeasurably harder to maintain your faith in humanity.

As you may have heard, Justin showed up at the California music festival to do a surprise performance (read: one that no one paid tickets for) with Chance The Rapper, who had a previously-scheduled set. I have no issue with that, other than the fact that I have no idea what he could’ve even performed, given that not a single one of his ‘new’ songs was actually a hit.

What I do have an issue with though is Justin’s absurd outfit. I’m used to this clown wearing diaper pants and onesies, but I figured that was just a phase. And even if it wasn’t, we were definitely already scraping the bottom of the barrel, right? RIGHT? Wrong.

Because here is what Justin Bieber wore to a public event where humans were present and had eyes that could see him. Behold if you dare:

Justin Bieber surprise performance at Coachella April 2014

Why is he dressed like a boxcar child? I can’t even tally up all the offenses, but right off the top of my head I’m seeing a bucket hat like babies wear, shoes with no socks, an oversized t-shirt, two bandanas, and A PAIR OF LITERAL NONSENSE PANTS.

Are they even pants though, really, or are they shorts? I can’t in good conscience call them either one, because of that absurd length. They’re wide-legged and hitting in the upper-ankle and lower-shin area, with an inseam of about four inches before we run into the saggiest, saddest crotch I’ve ever seen in my life.

This kid legitimately looks like he’s doing that thing I do at work when I wear a hooded sweatshirt on my bare legs when they get cold in the office. And he’s comfortable performing in that get-up, with no discernible crotch.

The only explanation I’ll accept is that one of Bieber’s fans made him this pair of pants and insisted he wear it onstage after a vicious chili accident with the ones he was originally going to wear. That’s the only story that will satisfy me.

(Photos: Kevin Winter / Staff / Getty Images Entertainment)

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Ugh. Just… ugh.

    • Ashley Reese

      The bucket hat seals the awful.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Keeps all the freshness inside.

  • elle

    I don’t even know what is happening….it’s like Fred Durst on top and somebody else on the bottom. Think of someone clever for me and fill in the blank!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      A Mormon penguin? (I can’t think of anyone besides Mormons who wears long denim skirts.)

    • http://sarahhollowell.com/ Sarah Hollowell

      There’s that other religion, though, another Christian thing. Oh man. They keep their hair long and wear long skirts and is it the same one that doesn’t do holidays? Everyone thought I was one in high school (because super-long hair and I really like long skirts okay).

      Aaaagh I can’t remember what it is!

  • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

    Why do companies even make pants like that? Are we supposed to think he’s got a super Jon Hamm wang or something?

  • Valerie

    This whole article made me lol. A boxcar child? Omg.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha thank you!

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    Such a poser. Too funny.

  • Mike

    I think this kid is an imbecile but I am sure he tries these things on purpose

    • Ann

      you mean just so that more people (lke him) will write about him?

  • sogalove

    I am a Chinese sell the club soccer jerseys, site:www..sogared..com, have

    brands: Nike, Adidas, Puma, Gucci, LouisVuitton, Armani, Burberry, Moncler,

    Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, Abercrombie & Fitch,

    CalvinKlein, Dsquared2, Yves Saint Laurent, Tommy Hilfiger site:www..sogared..com

    $$$$$$*******************WWW.SOGARED.COM*******************

    $$$$$$*******************WWW.SOGARED.COM*******************I am a Chinese sell the club soccer jerseys, site:www..sogared..com, have

    brands: Nike, Adidas, Puma, Gucci, LouisVuitton, Armani, Burberry, Moncler,

    Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, Abercrombie & Fitch,

    CalvinKlein, Dsquared2, Yves Saint Laurent, Tommy Hilfiger site:www..sogared..com

    $$$$$$******************WWW.SOGARED.COM******************

    $$$$$$******************WWW.SOGARED.COM*******************wytqqqqq

  • The Great Seymour(Butz)

    i have trousers like that but then i have an enlarged prostate

  • DeanaCal

    Those pants kind of look like he’s wearing a sweatshirt upside down with his legs through the arms. I saw an orangutan do that once.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I saw myself do it once, even more recently. (Shame face!)

    • DeanaCal

      I am guessing you need a special belt for that? I have some old sweatshirts I was going to give to Goodwill but maybe I’ll wear them this way instead so I will be at the beginning of a trend!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      If you loop the string through your belt loops, it works out pretty nicely.

    • DeanaCal

      I cannot stop laughing at this comment thread!

  • T

    He’s the Joffrey of music…..

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      He really is.

  • Pingback: Andrew Garfield Claims He Could Have Ended Up Like Justin Bieber