• Fri, Apr 11 - 5:16 pm ET

The 13 Least Believable Movie Couples Of All Time

Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston in Only Lovers Left Alive

So if you live in one of the very few locations in which it’s playing, Only Lovers Left Alive is opening this weekend. What is it, you ask? Why just your average vampire movie starring Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston as the romantic leads. NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

Except that’s extremely out of the ordinary, and we all know it. No matter how their chemistry is in the movie, that’s one of the least-believable couples I’ve ever heard of, and I don’t care who knows it.

But since we’re talking about oddly matched movie couples, why not talk about a few more? Because there are some real gems out there.

1. Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, Sex Tape

Best friends from college? Maybe. People who have ever or will ever or would ever be together romantically long term? Absolutely not.

2. Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez, The Fast And The Furious

I see your lips touching, but I don’t know that we can call that making out.

3. Julia Roberts and Nick Nolte, I Love Trouble

These two star as rival detectives, but the real mystery is how they came to be paired opposite each other. Nick’s twenty-five years older than Julia, after all.

4. Woody Allen and Mira Sorvino, Mighty Aphrodite

Sorry, no time to talk. Gotta go finish vomiting in my mouth.

5. Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf, Transformers

Sorry, but let’s not pretend that Megan was in this movie for any reason other than to give teenage boys hope that one day they could swap spit with someone that beautiful. If Shia can do it, anyone can.

6. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, Gigli

The fact that this union somehow took place in real life as well doesn’t make it any more plausible.

7. Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, Zookeeper

Is everyone else in the world seeing a different version of Kevin James than I am? How is he pulling these dime pieces?

8. Claire Danes and Steve Martin, Shopgirl

I get that this was intentional juxtaposition to make Jason Schwartzman look better, but still. C’mon.

9. Lily Tomlin and John Travolta, Moment By Moment

Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t even imagine it happening, make it stop.

10. Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It

Of all Adam’s egregious pairings, I’d say this one is the worst. And that’s saying a lot for someone who’s been paired with Drew BarrymoreKate Beckinsale, and many many many many more ladies with whom he couldn’t rustle up even a spark.

11. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, The Happening

WHAT IS THIS HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS. Honestly never heard of a weirder pairing in my life.

12. Ashley Judd and Dwayne Johnson, The Toothfairy

Fairly confident she could fit in his pocket.

13. Christian Bale and Katie Holmes, Batman Begins

And finally, such a poor match that Katie actually had to be replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the next film. Them’s the breaks!

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  • Lidy

    Def agree with 13. But Tilda and Tom are adorable. If you saw the film, you won’t think their pairing is strange or not believable at all.

  • MissJJ

    Tilda and Tom are fantastic in this.. have you even fucking seen it?

  • Natasha Lund

    Why aren’t Twillight on that list?

  • Mariana Dalzell

    What bothers me about this article is the way it shows the stereotypes society and show business want us to like and desire to be like. Love has all shapes, ages and ways.

  • D

    Shopgirl was based on a book. Written by Steve Martin. In which the main male lead was based on himself. So, yeah…fairly plausible that he could play the role in the movie. People fall in love for multiple different reasons. Funny guys are often sexier than dumb guys with abs. Way to come off super shallow.

  • Jowana Bueser

    This line: “no matter how the chemistry is” bothers me. So even if the movie couple has palpable screen chemistry, they’re still not believable? So how do we gauge? (Because I assume chemistry is or is one of the barometers.)

    Now, as per Tom and Tilda, they have a fantastic screen chemistry despite whatever oddness it has on paper of first thought. I’ve seen the film three times.

  • Melissa

    Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman in Mr. Wrong

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      YES!

  • HeartBlossoms

    Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I think Kevin James is adorable, and I would totally date him. I do not find the conventionally “hot” Brad Pitt the least bit attractive, though.