I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve grown to love Pharrell’s hat. When I first saw him wear it at the Grammys I immediately adjusted the settings on my television because I thought something was technically wrong. But now that I’ve seen him wear it to every event in various colors, I really think it belongs there. In fact, when I see a photo of him not wearing it, I get scared. Ellen DeGeneres, however, doesn’t think the hat is big enough… or phallic enough, apparently.
During Pharrell’s interview on today’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ellen gifts him with a new hat to wear (starting at 4:20 below). When she first announced that a bigger hat would be coming out I assumed it would just be a blown-up version of the hat he already wears. Maybe the size of a car, with the same proportions. But that’s not the route the show took. It would seem that whatever (mad) hatter threw it together didn’t consider what it might look like when sitting in Pharrell’s lap. Pssst, I’ll let you in on a secret. It looked like a huge penis.
They took the really tall stovepipe hat route, which unfortunately, considering the color they chose to use and the way Pharrell holds it, makes it look like there should be a huge blurry area over it, or maybe just like ten black bars. They quickly realize, however, as Pharrell suggests the Internet will take it in an inappropriate direction (Hello, over here, I’m the Internet, thanks for the suggestion!), and Ellen requests that he please hold it somewhere else. Although, if she’s concerned about keeping it a family show, she shouldn’t have had Pharrell come on and show off the results of his black magic. I can only assume that’s what he uses to halt aging.