Either I’m suffering from a bad case of the deja vus or Ed Sheeran just went on the record AGAIN to make sure that everyone knows that he has never and he will never date Taylor Swift. And not because they’re “like brother and sister” or “best friends” or “married to other people” or of that other BS that celebs throw at us when they try to convince us normals that they’re not dating.
No he’s not dating her (and he will never date her) because she allegedly scares the rainbow and glitter and jam jar jokes right out of him. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, he vehemently denies that his lyrics are about her because AHHHH, google search results suicide!
“With lyrics like “Me and her, we make money the same way/Four cities, two planes the same day,” Sheeran knows who fans will think it’s about. “It’s 100 percent not about Taylor,” he says. “Taylor’s one of these people that if you piss her off and she writes a song about you, it’s not good news for you. I’ve never dated Taylor. I’ve dated a few singers, though.”
While I totally understand why he wouldn’t want to be the subject of her next album (which would legally be required to be called “Red(head) 2″), I’m also totally not convinced that they two haven’t dated. Deny it once, shame on me for thinking it. Deny it twice, shame on you for making me suspicious. Deny it fourteen hundred thousand times, shame BACK on me for not uncovering the truth sooner. I mean, they made a music video together where they were married WITH CHILDREN. You can’t really drop a truth bomb bigger than that. That the equivalent to us finding them having sex and buying the excuse that Ed was just looking for his missing guitar, inside of her, without using his hands.
Even though I personally don’t ship these two (and yes, every time I use ship in a sentence, I look one year younger), I am ready for some Taylor Swift dating draaaammmaaa in my life again. And we can’t get to the drama until we get through the dating. So Ed, Taylor, I know you read Crushable on the reg, just come out with the truth already so we can get some new revenge tracks on the next album. Because the way it’s going right now, we’re just going to be stuck with a blind-item-free Taylor Swift album. And where’s the fun in that?