James Franco Better Watch Out, Because OMG That Teenager’s Grandma Is Pissed

James Franco attending Homefront premiere in Las Vegas November 2013

You know what I just realized?  There just aren’t enough stories about feisty grandmas on Crushable.  Well, all of that ends today folks!  Because the sweet Scottish granny of the teenager James Franco got jiggy creep with isn’t exactly thrilled that her seventeen-year-old granddaughter is now the subject of international headlines because a thirty-five-year-old American movie star is a douche bag.

Beryl Sussex (Beryl. You guys…#icant #myheart) caught wind of this whole scandal and decided to speak out against James:

“I think he ought to get a slap on the wrist and I know my son, Lucy’s dad, wouldn’t be afraid to give it to him. It shows how little these famous actors know about normal people and how to behave. They’re out of touch with reality.  Lucy isn’t even 18. It’s bad enough a man of his age is approaching her like this, never mind a movie star. I really take exception to this.I don’t know this actor, at my age we don’t keep up to speed, but it’s quite clear his behaviour is not on.”

If you didn’t read that in a stern, Scottish granny-ish brogue, you’re doing it wrong.  [Also would have settled for Mrs. Doubtfire's northern English lilt.]  But seriously, can we all please agree that: a.) We wish this was still a PR stunt because that would mean it wasn’t real and the heebie-jeebies we all have from this story aren’t real; and b.) On a more serious note, don’t you just feel kind of awful that this sweet, regular little family has to go through something like this?  I mean, this story hasn’t reached the deepest Chris Hansen-level depths of all time, but still.  Ugh.

What I find really irksome is that James Franco gets to continue the publicity tour for his latest film, while this girl and her Nanny Beryl have to combat reporters from The Daily Mail and the two shillings of everyone in their hometown, probably.  Sigh.

(Photo: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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    • FemelleChevalier

      So… Is getting a slap on the wrist different in Scottish? Does it involve a weapon of some sort?

      • Cassandra Hough

        We can only hope so. I’m picturing Braveheart-esque torture devices?

      • FemelleChevalier

        That’s a start. I’m imagining a small version of Scottish guillotine that can accommodate just his wrist.

      • Man_of_Sin


      • Lackadaisical

        Considering that the Glaswegian kiss is slang for head butting I hate to think of what a slapped wrist could be if granny is from Glasgow

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Makes you wonder what all the other alleged “nice guys” in Hollyweird are up to online. Still haven’t forgotten the Clay Aiken scandal.

    • Lackadaisical

      Mrs Doubtfire’s northern English accent? That was Scottish, so yes, totally what the nan in the story may sound like. Personally I choose to imagine Dame Maggie Smith’s accent as Jean Brodie / professor McGonagall. There is a voice not to mess with. There are several northern English accents (mine is Yorkshire) and none of them are even vaguely like Mrs Doubtfire.

      • Cassandra Hough

        Ahem, but I believe when Stuart asks Mrs. Doubtfire “what part of England” she’s from, she replies “here and there, all over really.” So *technically* I’m not wrong. But I agree with you about Dame Maggie. Her McGonagall is to die for.

      • Lackadaisical

        I assumed that was the joke, that it isn’t even slightly an English accent and he is faced with someone who knows England and has spotted it isn’t English and he has to cover. The accent is so obviously Scottish (and I believe based on a real person’s accent, someone actually Scottish) that I thought that it was an intentional joke about people not really understanding places or accennts that they are only familiar with from TV/films. This isn’t a smug thing as in England being just as bad I have to admit most of us can’t tell American accents from Canadian or Australian from New Zealand.

    • BK

      Age of consent in new york is 17. Better smash that james and tell granny to stfu.

      • guest

        Still creepy. The guy is 35, shouldn’t be trying to hit on highschool girls. Her family has every right to be pissed.

    • Valerie

      Franco is a creep.

      And OT, but I actually have a little old aunt Beryl myself. She was a war bride and came over from England with my great uncle when the war ended but she is part English and part Scottish so her accent has hints of both. She’s in her mid 80′s now and she’s still got a super strong accent. Oh, and her given name is Isabella, Beryl is a nickname. Not sure where they got that from Isabella but whatevs.

    • Allison

      Didn’t the girl release the pictures of the conversation herself??