11 People Who Aren’t Middle Aged White Dudes Who Should Take Letterman’s Spot

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Dave Letterman announced his retirement from The Late Show yesterday. But I trust that you already knew that because you’re very good at interneting. It’s just a vibe I’m getting. Anyway, while we could take this time to talk about our favorite Letterman moments, we’d rather spend it picking his replacement. It’s what ol’ Davey would want, I assume. And since his retirement gives us the chance to come up with our dream list, why not get all loosey goosey and diversify up in this joint? (I’m sorry.)

So here’s the deal: Letterman’s been keeping the Late Show swivel chair warm for over 20 years and, while he’s helped define late night as we know it, I’m ready to see a less middle-aged-white-guy face for a change. Lots of names have been tossed into the ring since the announcement, and here are some of my fave picks for people who should snatch up Letterman’s spot. Once I hear back on your favorite, I’ll use my incredible clout in the TV industry to make one of these happen.

1. Maya Rudolph

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She’s really funny PLUS she has the energy of a thousand Letterman’s. Let’s get on it, world.

2. Chris Rock

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Both Louis C.K. and I agree that this one is long overdue. Chris’ relatable brand of comedy would likely translate to drawing in a good range of viewers. Even better, he isn’t afraid to talk about controversial issues, which might make the network a little nervous at first, but would definitely make for great TV.

3. John Oliver

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I know what you’re thinking: he seems pretty white and pretty middle-aged. But he’s British and that has to count for something, right? Maybe? He’s already got all of that The Daily Show practice in the bag and he’s going to get tons of practice on his new HBO show this spring. What’s one more show?

4. Tig Notaro

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If you’ve never heard about a little web series called Up Close With Tig Notaro, let me tell you, you’ve got some Googling to do. Talk shows sometimes have cringey awkward moments, but that would never be a problem because Tig’s deadpan comedy style would step in each time and funny up the place.

5. John Mulaney

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The fact that he’s fairly new to comedy could work to his advantage because he offers a fresh and young perspective that isn’t really present in late night. And he’d totally fit in with the J-Gang that’s currently happening there. Jimmy, Jimmy and John…I like it!

6. Tina Fey AND Amy Poehler

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Do you remember Weekend Update? Or any one of the many flawless award shows that they hosted together? If we happen to spring for two hosts, the kind of chemistry that these two have is absolutely necessary. Come on, lucky stars, don’t let me down this time.

7. Wayne Brady

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He’s proven that he can be hilarious on the fly with Whose Line Is It Anyway?, which is such an important part of keeping your talk show audience and viewers awake and entertained.

8. Mindy Kaling

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Because she’s so fab at being interviewed that I’m starting to think she’d be even more amazing on the other side of the desk. Especially because she has that perfect talk show host skill of being funny without being mean.

9. Retta

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I imagine it like a televised version of her Twitter and that image is beautiful. Not one comedian I can think of has a better mixture of pure enthusiasm and comedic skills than Retta. I’m excited just thinking about how excited she’d be all the time.

10. Lorde

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This one’s more of a pipe dream, but Lorde hosting and calling everyone out on their BS would totally make me tune in every single day. We as a people deserve a real, no-nonsense show host, right? We’ve paid our dues.

You can reach this post's author, Olivia Wilson, on twitter.
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    • Jill O’Rourke

      The idea of Maya Rudolph on my TV every night makes me so happy.

      • Olivia Wilson

        I would become such a nighttime hermit.

    • Kathy

      Number 6 is the only one for me. But I can’t see CBS willing to pony up for both of their salaries. And I can’t see Tina and Amy agreeing to the requirements of a DAILY show. it would prevent them from taking any other show, including Parks & Rec. Yeah it would be great but it won’t ever happen.

      • Olivia Wilson

        I love Parks & Rec but I would trade that for a nightly show with these two in a heartbeat.

    • J_Doe5686

      Defenitely CHRIS ROCK!!! It’s time!

      • Olivia Wilson

        Yesss!

    • itpainsme2say

      Chris rock all the way b/c #6 is only ever going to happen in our dreams

      • Olivia Wilson

        Maybe if we all dream really hard, it’ll come true? I don’t know how dreams work.

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