Seth Rogen went on Conan last night to have a little chit chat about his new movie Neighbors, in which he shares the screen with Zac Efron’s shirtless body and also Zac Efron. And it turns out that that shirtless part pleases Seth as much as it does a good majority of humans and a select few demi-gods. Because have you seen Zac No H ever at all?? He won the genetics lottery so many times over that very respectable top scientists are considering renaming it after him. He’s so attractive that even his reflection gets a little self-conscious around him.
And now that I’ve done my fair share of gushing, I’ll pass the mic over to Seth, who is much more deserving than I am of the floor. I think that Zac is gorgeous, but probably no one thinks that Zac is dreamier than Seth does. His full-fledged man crush on him allows him to describe the peaks and valleys of Zac’s naked torso in a way that I’ll never be able to. But that’s okay because I’m totally fine just sitting criss-cross applesauce and listening to his romantic Zefron poetry, instead.
I’m so obsessed with how obsessed he is. And I don’t normally think about how much I do or don’t have in common with Seth Rogen, but in this very moment I am Seth. We are one, joined together by our profound appreciation for all that is Zac Efron, the Sexiest Mother-Conan-Censor-Bleep Alive. Oh yes, Adam Levine, I went there. Actually, Seth Rogen went there first and I just followed along because I’m nothing if not loyal to fellow Zac Efron Fan Club members.