There are a lot of bad decisions celebrities can make, and we watch them make those decisions every day. But today we’re going to talk about their bad tattoo-related decisions, because the new season of America’s Worst Tattoos is premiering tonight at 10 PM on TLC, and celebs have plenty of great examples for us to examine.
I’m personally terrified of tattoos because AHH NEEDLES and also AHHH COMMITMENT. But even I can acknowledge that some tattoos are artistic and and meaningful and even pretty cool. But others are just mind-bogglingly terrible. Whether they’re huge and obnoxious or misspelled or feature the face of someone they’ve broken up with, there are plenty of bad tattoos to examine on our favorite (and not-so-favorite) celebrities’ bodies. Here are fourteen of the worst of the worst.
1. Justin Bieber’s Everything
Someone clearly forgot to inform Justin Bieber that tattoos are permanent, because he gets one practically every day. He’s got a full tattoo sleeve to keep his constantly shirtless body warm, and he just recently got the word “forgive” on his hip, because that’s all he ever asks us to do for him. There’s also an inexplicable koi carp and his mom’s eye and a bunch of other random, douchey things.
2. Ryan Cabrera’s Ryan Gosling
(Photo: Judy Eddy/WENN.com)
Yes, that’s right. Ryan Cabrera tattooed Ryan Gosling’s face on his calf. Apparently his BFF picked it for him and he didn’t see it until it was done. I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than him picking it himself.
3. Dean McDermott’s Tori Spelling
Gee, I hope Dean McDermott never gets divorced from his wife Tori Spelling. That would be super awkward considering he has her face on his arm. Unfortunately all those cheating rumors are making an awkward outcome seem very likely. When will people learn?
4. Kate Gosselin’s Winnie the Pooh
(Photo: Dominic Chan, WENN/ WENN)
I… I just… this is quite possibly the creepiest tattoo I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I will have nightmares about it tonight.
5. Jamie Foxx’s Head Tat
Luckily Jamie can grow out his hair and cover this up, but why does it have to be there in the first place? He apparently got it to celebrate his 40th birthday and (presumably) his midlife crisis.
6. Amanda Seyfried’s Vagina Slang
Yes, “minge” is a slang word for a woman’s privates. At least Amanda kept the tattoo pretty unobtrusive, but I’m worried she didn’t pay attention in school when they went over body parts, because why would she label her foot that?
7. Harry Styles’ Butterfly
Oh Harry. Why? Just why. There’s simply no excuse.
8. Chris Brown’s Battered Woman
(Photo: Judy Eddy/WENN.com)
Chris Brown claims he sees no resemblance between his neck tattoo and Rihanna’s battered face, and that it’s just meant to be a Day of the Dead skull, to which I reply, “Bullshit.”
9. Miley Cyrus’ Sad Cat
Granted, this one isn’t even visible until Miley pulls down her lower lip, but that almost makes it worse to me. Because what’s the point? And the color already started fading within a couple of days. #FAIL
10. Stephen Baldwin’s Hannah Montana
Stephen Baldwin got the initials “HM” for Hannah Montana on his shoulder because Miley apparently promised to get him on the show if he did so… but then he never got the role. So should we just say it stands for Hellmann’s Mayonnaise now?
11. Hayden Panettiere’s Misspelled Italian
Oh, irony. Hayden got a tattoo that was supposed to read “Live without regrets” in Italian but ended up being misspelled. She’s since gotten laser removal treatment on it. Sounds like a regret to me.
12. Steve-O’s Steve-O
(Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Yes, that is a full back tattoo of Steve-O’s own portrait, along with his name and the words “yeah dude, I rock!” There’s nothing more to be said.
13. David Beckham’s Everything
I don’t even care about the specifics of David Beckham’s tattoos, I just wish they didn’t cover so much of his godlike physique.
14. Jenny McCarthy’s Foot Tat
(Photo: Today Show)
Ugh. Just ugh.