I’m not sure exactly when North West will announce her 2016 candidacy for President of the United States, but it’s probably coming soon. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part, because right after I watched Kim Kardashian on Late Night with Seth Meyers last night, I immediately made 100 “NORTH 4 PREZ” buttons. As soon as I heard Kim explain that North peed on Kanye West during their Vogue shoot, I knew this country would be a better place with that baby at its helm. North might prefer a dictatorship over a democracy, however.
I kind of figured that already, though, based on the face North is making in that photograph up there. She’s gone from reaching out to us for help in her first photo to simply cocking one eyebrow at us like, “This ends NOW!” And then in that moment she just went ahead and pulled a Justin Bieber. Oh whoops, has that phrase not caught on yet? Pulling a Justin Bieber means to pee in an inappropriate place. You know, mop buckets, snow, your parents while they’re wearing designer clothing.
When you look at that photo from now on, just remember that according to Kim, “North peed on him right at that moment.” And of course, since they insisted on getting North’s first nudie pic out there early, she wasn’t wearing a diaper to catch said revenge pee. But would it really be revenge pee if there had been a diaper there? Certainly not. Needless to say, North is officially my favorite celebrity baby. Sorry Maxwell Drew, you’re a cutie patootie, but North’s got attitude, and she’s not afraid to speak her mind… by peeing. I mean, she can’t talk yet, so how else is she supposed to express herself? You’ll be all right, North West.