Jay-Z And Beyonce Might Be Lying About Their Ages, Because Admitting They’re Immortal Would Be Awkward

Jay-Z and Beyonce London March 2014

Get out your conspiracy theorist notebooks and flip to the section on Beyonce and Jay-Z, because there are some new developments to mark down. You know how they claim to be 32 and 44, respectively? According to rumors, those numbers might not be totally accurate. We’ve already seen claims that Beyonce’s been fibbing about how old she is, and now Jay-Z might be as well, according to radio host Troi Torain. And it totally makes sense, because if you were an immortal deity sent to Earth to entertain lowly humans, you’d sort of have to lie about your age, wouldn’t you?

Okay, so Troi Torain doesn’t say that Jay-Z is actually infinity years old, but he does say that he’s 50… which is six years older than he claims to be, and eighteen years older than Beyonce claims to be. But of course if the rumors about Beyonce’s age are true, their age gap wouldn’t really be as big. The radio host claimed on his show Star: Live and Direct that he and Jay are actually the same age: “I will be 50 on May 3. He’s 43, 42… that’s just media bull****!”

If Jay-Z really is 50, I’m gonna need him to refer me to whatever Illuminati dermatologist he goes to, because he looks fantastic. Speaking of looking fantastic, how old is Beyonce rumored to be, do you ask? It’s been different over the years, but this past December it was rumored to be 35, because it was revealed that a Good Morning America host who’s that age had gone to high school with her. There’s also a theory that Beyonce is Solange’s mother and not her sister, if you want to go really deep into WTFtown.

What do you say we just let these rumors go and accept that God and her husband have to tell a little white lie now and then? Whether that lie is about how old they are or who gave birth to our savior Blue Ivy is irrelevant. Just stop questioning and bow down, bitches.

(Photo: WENN.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • Kaitlin Reilly

      I never think about Jay-Z’s age, ever. Why would he lie about being 50?! Is Beyonce apparently lying as well?

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Yeah he’s one of those people where before this if you asked me how old he was I’d probably have no idea. And yeah, there are theories Beyonce’s lying too.

    • Kay_Sue

      Why are people so…concerned with this? I just…I don’t get the “oooo, we have a juicy bit of gossip” about these topics from the general public. Even something “scandalous” like having a child at a young age. It wasn’t uncommon for young unwed mothers to pass their children off as siblings at one point–I have a cousin who was raised as her mother’s sister. It happened.

      Stage personas are just personas–they can be as old or young as the performer wants them to be. We don’t own that person’s narrative because they have deigned to create some sort of entertaining media…*shakes head*

    • J_Doe5686

      I knew Jay-Z was older than Beyonce and that Beyonce is not that young but there’s no proof. Whatever age they are they sure look good and I need to join the illuminati ASAP!

    • MizzReyRey .

      this is SO stupid. the rumors that are made up about these 2 are completely barbaric

    • Kelly17

      I think after seeing her documentary there is no way that Solange isn’t her sister, there’s home video of them both as children sitting in front of their old home.

    • carrie thompson

      Look, I like a good age conspiracy. I firmly believe that Catherine Zeta-Jones has shaved off some years, for example.
      But…it gets tricky when the person got famous really young, right? There’s a lot of video/picture evidence of Beyonce as a pre-adolescent girl, isn’t there? I haven’t done any investigating, but it seems like it would be hard to shave 3-4 years off when that is the case.

    • Poochieeee

      why does everyone keep spreading rumors about other peoples age. nobody cant tell them what age they are because nobody gave birth to neitherone of them. mind yall buisness because no matter how old they are and how young they look, its nun of your buissnessthey are both still good singers/rappers. and are doing very well with blue ivy and there selfs. GOOD_DAY ! yall people are fucking noisy.!

      • Jill O’Rourke

        So if nobody gave birth to them, are you saying the ARE gods? Tell me more!

    • bann2u

      Who cares…..

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    • SonnySky

      What is a few years- IMO Jay Z is too old for Beyonce and she will most likely regret her decision. It seems to have changed her and she is not the talented person she used to be. She seems shut down.

    • MS. NHY

      SOME PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID HOW COULD BEYONCE BE SOLANGE MOTHER AND SOLANGE IS 25 DID SHE HAVE HER AT 7 YEARS OLD AND IF SHE IS 35 AS THEY CLAIM SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN 10 YRS OLD. AND YOU CAN LOOK AT THE VIDEOS OF THEM AS YOUNG CHILDREN AND SEE THERE IS NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENCE IN THEIR AGES!! IJS