I understand that Justin Bieber is running out of space on his body for tattoos, but I really think he should’ve waited for a few more wisps of hair sprout up on his tiny boy-body before he got inked anywhere near the happy trail region.
But as always, Bieber didn’t take my advice, and proudly lifts his shirt in new photos to show off the word ‘forgive’, tattooed disturbingly close to his crotchal zone, which, yes, is the scientific term. But why would you need that word there? Is it an apology for his almost complete lack of body hair? An attempt to make the Miami Police’s documentation of his tattoos out-of-date pretty much as soon as they recorded it? An early excuse for whatever his peen gets up to for anyone doing a pre-beej circle of the area? It could be literally anything.
It’s also not even the only tattoo that Justin got during that session, as he also got a cross right smack dab in the middle of his chest. (The meaning of that one is much more clear — it’s obviously a reminder that no matter how silly we think Bieber looks, he can always look sillier.) And because Justin is just a crazy kid who doesn’t like to do anything in a normal place, he got both of these tattoos aboard his private jet, while flying from Panama to Canada on January 28th. You know, because when your only job is to get arrested in as many cities as possible, sometimes you need to fly around the world at 40,000 feet for no reason, trying to set a world record for highest-altitude tattoo.
Both masterpieces were done by Bang Bang, who I’m sure spent so much time staring at that pathetic thatch of pubes that he could clear it up for us whether the total number of hairs down there is twenty-eight or twenty-nine. I’ve got money riding on it.
(Photo: Coleman-Rayner via BangBangTattoos’ Facebook)