If You’ve Ever Wondered About Enrique Iglesias’ Penis Size, This Is The Video For You

Enrique Iglesias on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen March 2014Does wondering exactly how big Enrique Iglesias‘ penis is keep you awake at night? Well have I got the solution for you!

Although to be fair, I’m guessing the only person who thinks this hard about Enrique Iglesias’ penis is Enrique Iglesias. I know that Anna Kournikova isn’t losing any sleep over it after twelve years together and no proposal.

But anyway. Enrique went on the after-hours portion of Watch What Happens Live last night, which is a Bravo show with Andy Cohen where people are allowed to call in with questions. And like it says right there in the title, the show is live, which gives them very little time to screen callers who, I dunno, might ask a rambling question about Enrique’s favorite song off his first album, only to follow that up with, “I’d like to know how big your package really is.”

Whoops! Cue studio-wide hoots from the audience, a literal facepalm from Andy Cohen, and a solid forty-five seconds of stuttering from Enrique while he tries to gain himself time by asking Nobel-worthy clarifying questions like, “Well it depends on what you mean by the package” and “In comparison to what?” Nice try, buddy — in comparison to INCHES.

But of course Enrique doesn’t go that route. I won’t spoil it for you, suffice to say that the way he chooses to give you context for his peen’s massive size is a Grade A indicator that his peen is anything but girthy. It’s along the lines of:

“I’d explain it to you, but it’s literally too big for you to even understand. Like it would blow your mind how large it is. Ha, blow your mind. Get it? We like barely have numbers that even go up that high yet, but just trust that it’s really enormously big. Like any part of my lower body that you think is my pants is probably actually my penis all ironed out and glued to my skin. Otherwise there’s no way for me to cart it around. Y’KNOW BRO?”

Anyone who’s that concerned about how to brag about his junk is working something decidedly unimpressive.

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    • Jill O’Rourke

      I really thought he was gonna describe it to her in Spanish and I would have to go use Google Translate.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know, I was so ready for that.