It’s Twitter’s eighth birthday, everybody! Can you believe that we’ve been oversharing about our lives and screencapping controversial celebrity statements for eight years? Well, we have. And in honor of this milestone, Twitter has introduced a new tool called First Tweet that allows you to find anybody’s first tweet ever. You can find your own first tweet, you can find your BFF’s first tweet, you can find your high school English teacher’s first tweet. But most importantly, you can find famous people’s first tweets.
Just a warning that when you click this link you will doom yourself to spending the rest of the day typing Twitter handles into the search box and marveling at how far we’ve all come as tweeters. But to save you some time, we’ve already looked at a bunch of celebrities’ and comedians’ first tweets and gathered them together here for your enjoyment. Some of them are predictably hilarious, some of them are kind of confusing, and some of them actually might embarrass these people if they saw them today. It’s okay. We all had an awkward stage. This list features a lot of names from our world famous Funniest People to Follow On Twitter list from last year. We’ve got great taste.
1. Ellen DeGeneres
Tis my first twitt-er. Or tweet? Twit? Or tweet? “Twit or tweet everybody.” Is this anything?
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 10, 2009
How perfect is it that Ellen’s first tweet is also probably her most Elleny tweet ever? Very perfect.
Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me. — Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010
Conan’s was appropriately bizarre.
I’ll be honest, just created this to say that any other “twitter-ers” aren’t me. Flattering… just not me. — Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 25, 2009
A lot of celebs started their accounts to clarify that imposter accounts aren’t real. And Anna K added some extra cuteness to her introduction.
4. Taylor Swift
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) October 25, 2008
GASP! You guys, Taylor’s first tweet was in response to Justin Bieber, her mortal enemy. And she said something nice to him. I’ll never let her live this down. You know, because I talk to her all the time.
5. Rob Delaney
I’m about to go onstage in Minneapolis. After I finish my tuna melt and go pee
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 27, 2009
Here’s how Rob Delaney, famous Twitter comedian, got his start on the site. That’s… not what I was expecting.
haiku luv luv bby gurl!!!!11!!!1!!!!! — Jezebel (@Jezebel) August 14, 2007
So yes, Jezebel is a website and not a celebrity. But honestly, how can you not love this? What even is it?
is scared of p diddy. — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 5, 2009
Kelly Oxford’s another funny voice who got famous via Twitter. What’s intersting is that if she tweeted this today she’d probably get a thousand retweets.
8. Kris Jenner
This is the first time I am twittering and its really easy! I just invited all of my kids to twitter!
— Kris Jenner (@KrisJenner) March 10, 2009
So it begins.
9. Billy Eichner
How long until it’s Peter, Paul and Kanye?
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) September 17, 2009
Oh Billy, you’re so silly.
I might be over the Sarah Connors Chronicles — Retta (@unfoRETTAble) October 22, 2008
I just love that Retta’s first tweet was about TV, because now that’s what she’s known for.
been sitting here for 30 minutes trying to figure out a clever first tweet. still thinking… — Tyra Banks (@tyrabanks) July 17, 2009
Haaaa. Oh Tyra.
12. Jimmy Kimmel
Yo quiero hacer el amor con Justin Bieber
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) May 6, 2010
In case you don’t speak Spanish/don’t want to Google this, it means he wants to make love to Justin Bieber. Ever the prankster.
13. Mindy Kaling
Oh shit I’m on twitter you guys.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 10, 2009
I just love how many celebrities are like, “How the hell did I get here?”
14. Stephen Colbert
Funyuns, you cut the hell out of the roof of my mouth. But, god damn it do I respect you. — Stephen CoIbert (@ColbertAtHome) August 14, 2011
Colbert got straight to the serious topics.
15. Patton Oswalt
I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010
Haha, old things are funny.
16. Justin Long
So after years of being a proud twitter-less Luddite, ran into Shiloh Jolie-Pitt last night + she convinced me to join the twitter ranks. Hi — Justin Long (@justinlong) October 14, 2012
I knew I had a crush on this guy.
17. Ryan Seacrest
Sean William Scott was in-studio this morn and killed it on Rock Band 2 in our green room! See the vid on ryanseacrest.com! — Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) November 7, 2008
I just love how dated this is. Hey, the guy from American Pie was on my show please watch it he’s famous okay?
18. John Krasinski
In case you were worried he couldn’t get any cuter.
19. Oprah Winfrey
HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .
— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) April 17, 2009
Is “Twitters” her affectionate nickname for her followers or the site itself? Whatever, I won’t question it. I don’t want to be hit by lightning.
i think my fingernails are too short to be a member of the twittersphere
— Lorde (@lordemusic) November 22, 2012
BRB, laughing about this forever.
21. Lindsay Lohan
@samantharonson FLY SAFE… love you
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) September 28, 2009
Oh. My. God. Please join me in feeling awkward about this for the rest of the day.