I’ve been in a delirious haze of happiness ever since the handwritten list of every famous guy thatÂ Lindsay Lohan‘s ever slept with came out last week, and just when I thought my euphoria had maxed out, more of the blurred-out names on it are being released.
You see, speculating on which unlikely people in a community have slept together is one of my chiefest joys. I was already fascinated by it when it happened just between two normals in my college theater program, so you can imagine how much more mesmerized I am when it’s going down between Hollywood celebrities. The only thing that gets in the way of me cutting off contact with my family and friends and obsessing about it fulltime is the fact that it’s impossible to get any real answers.
So you can imagine how thrilled I was to see an actual list of written down humans who had supposedly graced LiLo’s sheets, a list including Adam Levine,Â Justin Timberlake, Heath Ledger, and poor dear Zac Efron, who was totally blindsided by hearing that he was on it. But there were a bunch of names on the list that were blurred out — eighteen to be exact — supposedly protecting the identity of men who were married at the time. It was a bummer, but our patience has now been rewarded, as twelve of those previously-blurred names have been revealed, including:
- Ashton Kutcher, who was married to Demi MooreÂ from 2005 – 2013.
- Ryan Philippe, who was married to Reese Witherspoon from 1999 – 2007.
- Stavros Niarchos, who was engaged to Lindsay’s former friendÂ Paris Hilton.
- Orlando Bloom, who has been married to Miranda Kerr since 2010, although they’re currently in the midst of a divorce.
It’s possible that she got through all that andÂ Benicio Del Toro and everybody else on the list without actually knocking boots with any married men, but it would take some serious effort and time traveling to be able to pull it off. It seems more likely that she was with some of these guys while they were in relationships.
…which only makes me more curious about the six guys whose names have yet to be revealed. What could possibly be more secretive than guys who are married? I’m too curious.