• Wed, Mar 19 - 3:12 pm ET

9 Celebrity Liars Who Said They Stay In Shape By Running After Their Kids

Kathy Bates AHS Lies

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Oh, celebrities. They’re so predictable. If they’re not saying “My job really isn’t as glamorous as it seems” or “We’re not dating, we’re just really good friends,” they’re trying to convince us that running around after your children gives you the body of a Victoria’s Secret model. The “I chase after my kids” line is one of my favorites in Hollywood. Also one of my least favorites, because really? I’m not even a mom and it annoys me.

Granted, it’s kind of annoying in the first place that all female celebs get asked about after they have a baby is “How did you lose the weight?” But a little honesty wouldn’t hurt. Telling us that following your child around on the playground burns enough calories for you to look like that doesn’t make us normals feel better. If that were really all it took, every mom in existence would have a supermodel’s body. Please, tell us you work out constantly and can’t eat anything delicious. Don’t make it look effortless. Here are just nine examples of the “running after my kids” excuse. To be fair, a lot of them also add that they diet and exercise, but that’s really all they needed to say in the first place. Not to mention the fact that a lot of them probably leave the chasing to the nannies…

1. Rebecca Romijn

Rebecca-Romijn-Photo-Getty(Photo: Mark Davis, Getty Images)

What she said: “I do Bikram three days a week, and I run after my twins every day — a workout in itself! I was doing yoga five days a week, but then I started to realize that my body was fatigued and my back was hurting. I think it’s important to listen to your body and know when you’re overdoing it.”

Okay, so you do yoga. Why can’t you just say that? I’m not a mom, so I don’t know for sure, but exactly how much running around do children do each day? I imagine for a lot of the time they’re stationary, no? If it’s enough to give you a body like that, maybe invest in a leash.

2. Angelina Jolie

Angelina-Jolie-Photo-Getty(Photo: Christopher Polk, Getty Images)

What she said: Saying she is feeling “great” and is “very happy” that her kids are healthy, these days Angelina is all about running “around with all of the other kids” and “breastfeeding, which I think is a part of your body’s recovery.” “It’s genetics,” Angelina notes. “Certain people are different in their shape. But I’m breastfeeding and I think that’s it. That’s how your body naturally responds.”

Angelina certainly does have a lot of kids, so any running around is multiplied, but are the acts of playing with your kids and breastfeeding really the only things keeping her looking like Angelina Jolie? For realsies?

3. Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra-Ambrosio-Photo-Getty(Photo: Frederick M. Brown, Getty Images)

What she said: “Breastfeeding was really good [too], and running after my kids … I love to do Pilates and SoulCycle and go on walks and surf at the beach.”

Okay, so you do Pilates and SoulCycle. Why do you have to add that as an afterthought, like “Meh, I just run after my kids. And oh yeah I also do routine exercise because I’M A VICTORIA’S SECRET MODEL”?

4. Melissa Joan Hart

Melissa-Joan-Hart-Photo-Getty(Photo: Christopher Polk, Getty Images)

What she said: “You don’t have time to eat because you’re chasing them all the time! … You kind of lift them in the car seat, out of the car seat, in the highchair, out of the highchair.”

Ahhh so much chasing and lifting and moving and not eating. So relatable.

5. Nick Cannon

Nick-Cannon-Photo-Getty(Photo: Ethan Miller, Getty Images)

What he said: “I chase my kids around and I also lift weights.”

It’s not just the ladies who use the “my kids keep me fit” excuse. It’s also the daddies. But seriously, how fast and how often are these kids running around that they’re such an effective exercise routine? Are all these celebrity children wearing jet packs?

6. Jessica Simpson

Jessica-Simpson-Photo-Getty(Photo: Jamie McCarthy, Getty Images)

What she said: “With both kids, I’m running up and down my stairs a million times. Kids can keep your metabolism going. Eric and I go on walks together. I try and walk about 4 miles a day consistently. It makes me feel better.”

Okay, so you walk four miles a day and you’re also a paid spokesperson for Weight Watchers. But oh oh oh you also chase your kids up the stairs. Why are these children moving so much, and why do you always have to chase them? Are you handcuffed together?

7. Penelope Cruz

Penelope-Cruz-Photo-Getty(Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto, Getty Images)

What she said: “Just running after them, running after the kids, I think.”

This one’s the worst because she doesn’t even add that there’s an exercise or diet routine. Just running after them. THANKS PENELOPE I’LL GO FIND A COUPLE OF KIDS AND THROW OUT MY TREADMILL.

8. Kim Zolciak

Kim-Zolciak-Photo-Getty(Photo: Craig Barritt, Getty Images)

What she said: (in response to her daughter’s tweet about how much weight she lost after having twins) “[It's] from chasing after you.”

Kim has six children, so much like Angelina that would mean more chasing, but Kim was apparently a size 4 just nine days after giving birth. And she supposedly gained 50 pounds during the pregnancy. That’s a lot of kid-chasing.

9. Karolina Kurkova

Karolina-Kurkova-Photo-Getty(Photo: Theo Wargo, Getty Images)

What she said: “Chasing after Tobin definitely keeps me on my feet! Kids have so much energy…they help to keep you active when you least expect it.”

I’m sure Karolina Kurkova never expects to be active since she’s not a famous supermodel or anything. Oh wait…

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  • Olivia Wilson

    I like how Karolina Kurkova says they keep you active when you least expect it, as if a little Activity Troll catches her offguard by jumping out from around corners all day. “Surprise! Run a 3K.”

  • Vanessa Vieira

    i used to think all of these were lies as well until my sister had kids. she worked out pretty steadily for years before she got pregnant, but she is the skinniest/toned she’s ever been now with 2 kids and she does not work out at all. i mean i can kind of understand it because she went from having a little to no activity type of job…to a full time active job where she barely sits down until she goes to sleep. there is little to no down time so i can imagine that she burns a ton more calories per day than she used to. it’s probably a combination of genes as well.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Who are you? Do you work for these sites??

    • Sexy Robotic Arms Dealer

      O_o

    • Samantha Escobar

      I actually sit right next to her and just felt accusatory today. :P

    • Robotic Socks

      Oh LOL

      I thought maybe there were some backstory cat fighting

    • Samantha Escobar

      SOMETIMES I SEE YOUR BYLINE.

  • LadyClodia

    My boys will literally run circles in our house for hours if we let them. I do not chase them, though, especially now that they have each other to chase. I definitely do not look like a Victoria’s Secret model, though, so maybe I should start with the chasing.
    It does annoy me that celebrities act like they don’t work out, and then sometimes wonder why regular parents don’t look like them. I do not have a nanny who can watch the kids for hours every day so that I can go to the gym. I can’t even find the time to use the exercise bike that we do have because it’s in the basement in my husband’s office and I can’t watch the boys from there. I also don’t have a personal chef that will make yummy and healthy food for me that I do not have to think about.

    After my first son was born I lost a lot of weight from breastfeeding him and I weighed less than I had before I got pregnant, but even then I still wasn’t skinny. After my second son I expected to lose the weight again, but I didn’t (most likely due to extreme stress and some messed up birth control.)

  • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

    I never did get why celebrities want us to believe they don’t work hard for the body that they have. C’mon, tell the truth, you work hard! I’d be shouting it from the rooftops – “THIS IS WHY I’M HOT OMG”

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    I don’t own a sofa, I have chaise lounges in almost every room in my home because I have a rule about standing up – I try not to as much as possible. So if I had kids, I sure as hell wouldn’t be chasing them. I’d probably just tell them to go play in traffic, like my mom did.

  • Sexy Robotic Arms Dealer

    #stfucelebs

  • LaLa

    Ugh, I hate when people say this! I have two kids and I definitly do not look like these ladies. And one of my kids is a big time runner (When his feet hit the ground his first instinct is “get the hell away from Mommy.” Automatic doors are terrifying when your kid has an unexplainable need to get as far away from you as possible). Seriously, if chasing your kid was the secret to fitness, I’d look like Giselle. And even more annoying is the fact that even if these celebrities have super rambunctious children, they are usually not the ones chasing them! They have nannies for that. So it’s double the bullshit.

  • jane

    Eh, I thought Angelina Jolie was at least honest – some people the weight falls off of, and some it doesn’t. Sure, she probably also lives on yogurt and brown rice, but genetics play a big part.

  • Tinyfaeri

    All I can picture is a frazzled, first time mother yelling at her newborn to “Get up and run, dammit, so I can chase you!” Way to put millions of kids in future therapy, celebrities. Good job.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      It’s only a matter of time before one of them writes a fitness book about this technique.

  • Kelly

    I actually believe Angelina Jolie. Breastfeeding and running around after that mob of children would burn a shit ton of calories.

    I’m also pretty sure she openly had a mommy makeover, as in plastic surgery to repair some of the damage done by pregnancy and labor. I remember hearing about that.

  • Williwaw

    I’d like to think that some of these women were just kidding and didn’t want to go into the details of their weight-workout regimen, because come on. Unless your house is four miles long, you don’t need to chase a kid all the time, just pen them up in one area. Also, do yoga and Pilates really burn that many calories? I run 20-25 miles a week, and my body is not even in the same universe as these bodies. Even when I was marathon training back before I had a kid, and running as much as 45 miles a week, I didn’t look like that, and I wasn’t eating a lot of junk food back then either. Either these women have magical metabolisms or they are on stunningly calorie-restricted diets 365 days a year.

  • Kate

    I always thought this was a celeb standby for when they’re desperate to prove that YES I AM
    TOTALLY AND 100% INVOLVED WITH RAISING MY CHILDREN YEP UH HUH LOL WHAT’S A NANNY HA I DON’T EVEN KNOW. I think they’re erring on the side of appearing to be good mothers since if they were honest about their regimens, comment sections would explode with parenting experts who berate them for neglecting their children in order to get back in shape (remember that fitness guru on Instagram who caught a ton of flack for “body shaming” other moms after she flaunted her weight loss?). Point is, no matter what they say someone is going to give them shit. At least they’re trying to make the best of it?

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yeah I’d imagine a lot of them have that motive as well.

  • Dee

    I think you took it a bit too literal with “running after” they don’t literally run all the time. It refers to all the stuff they got to do for the kids, for themselves, for the household I guess cos I mean they still have a job to do like the rest of us. I think maybe they mean on top of what they have already done in life having kids has added an extra energy burning. I know when I would come from work there wasn’t much time for me to relax when looking after just two kids (they were pretty young) and I have to make sure everything has been done because well a nanny and father is good and all but there are some things maternally no matter how tired you just gotta do. Also as celebrities get older like us “normals” (they are humans too)…. we tend to have less energy, look forward to sleep more. I do agree with you though that maybe they could specify the diet/exercise part but perhaps they assume (as society is more aware and conscious of it now) that most people know this and do it in some form…hence feel the need to refrain from going into more depth . Just my thoughts

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  • CMP

    I forget who I was reading about in a magazine once, but some famous woman was quoted about chasing after her kid, and that’s how she lost the weight, and I’m just thinking “yeah, okay, whatever, sure”, and then I look to the top of the page and it says in a little bubble that “____ (enter whoever it was here) just became a mom!” – it was her FIRST child! Like, really?! You’re running after your newborn?! BABIES CAN RUN?! She didn’t have any other kids to run after, and it was only a few months after having her only kid- but, yeah, she’s running because of that one, few month old baby soooo much. They are either dumb enough to think it sounds right, or they think we are dumb enough to buy it.