I don’t think we thank our lucky stars often enough for the gem that isÂ Shailene Woodley. For one thing, she’s a talented actress, but the real reason I’m so psyched about her in this particular moment is that she’s the only celebrity we have who could getÂ Huffington PostÂ to print the headline: Shailene Woodley’s Beauty Secrets: Eating Clay…And Vitamin D For Her Vagina.
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT? You’d never get that fromÂ Taylor SwiftÂ orÂ Dakota Fanning or anybody like that. Talking about vaginae! (And yes, that is literally the plural of ‘vagina’, so get off my jock.) In fact, most people in Hollywood talk about their lady parts so infrequently that I have no proof they aren’t all smoothed out down there like Barbie dolls or something.
But here comes Shailene, eating up all that groundclay and giving me a unnecessary but irresistible mental image of a vadge nibbling up little sun pills. Sorry that I’ve now passed it on to you, but it was too glorious / disturbing to keep to myself. But while you try to scrub that from your brain, let’s ask Shailene how she got started munching on glorified soil in the first place:
“I first heard about the benefits of eating clay from a taxi driver. He was African and was saying that, where heâ€™s from, the women eat clay when theyâ€™re pregnant. Seriously — ask your taxi drivers where they are from and about their customs. You will learn a lot. So, I’ve discovered that clay is great for you because your body doesnâ€™t absorb it, and it apparently provides a negative charge, so it bonds to negative isotopes.”
Okay, I’ll have to take your word for it on both parts, because I haven’t delved into the science parts, and also because the only advice I’ve ever gotten from a cab driver is “NOT IN THE CAB NOT IN THE CAB ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW IF YOU’RE GOING TO THROW UP.”
“Another thing I like to do is give my vagina a little vitamin D. [Laughs] I was reading an article written by an herbalist I studied about yeast infections and other genital issues. She said thereâ€™s nothing better than vitamin D.”
I wish I could be the sort of person who ‘gives’ something like sunlight to my vagina, but I mostly just bask in it. I guess now that I think about it, I’ve Â never once asked my vajay what it really wants.
So I guess what I’m saying is…that’sÂ myÂ beauty secret.
(Photo: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com)