Sometimes it takes three old ladies analyzing the sexually explicit lyrics to a Beyonce song to get you to admit you’re not as informed as you thought you were. Take, for instance, this video of the Golden Sisters (who famously analyzed Kim Kardashian’s sex tape) trying to figure out the lyrics to Kanye West’s remix of Beyonce’s “Drunk in Love” featuring Jay-Z. I would never call myself especially hip about music, especially songs like this. I’ll listen to it, maybe vaguely register that it’s about sex of some kind, then just move on and sing along to “Let it Go” for the millionth time. So what I’m saying is, I’m just as confused as these ladies. Probably more so.
Okay, so I know a little more than they do. I know, for instance, that Kanye West is not a basketball player, despite the fact that Kim Kardashian “likes them big.” After that, though, these ladies seem way more in tune with what the kids are talking about than I am. And they raise some very important questions. For instance, what is with all this talking while having sex? And how big is Beyonce’s bathtub that she can pull off that surfboard move? They are also appropriately offended by Kanye’s “impregnated your mouth” lyric, because eww eww eww why would he say that stop it this instant.
In short, I am these old ladies. These old ladies are me. Or rather, they’re everything I wish I was. Mostly because one of them is enjoying one of the most delicious-looking sandwiches I’ve ever laid eyes on. So if you’re a total square like me, watch this video and feel less alone. Even if you immediately understood what “surfboard” meant without having to surreptitiously google it during the Grammys, you’ll get a kick out of it. Either way, it’ll make you smile in a way that only old ladies being adorable can.