I don’t like to point fingers, but someone in this room is fat-shaming right now. I’ll give you some hints. It’s not me, and it’s not you, and — okay fine, it’s Jenna Dewan-Tatum. You would’ve figured it out sooner or later, because she’s the only other one here.
Normally I wouldn’t gossip about our friend Jenna like this, but it’s just that she was fat-shaming that baby she has with her husband Channing Tatum. I forget her name. Everly or something. ANYWAY. Jenna was super totes fat-shaming her in a recent interview with People and I refuse to stay silent about it! Just read this.
“[I stay fit by] carrying my baby all day long and carting her around.”
CARTING HER AROUND? Jenz! Can I call you Jenz? Cool. Implying that your baby is such a load of cargo that you have to hitch yourself into a cart like a horse and pull her around is totes not cool. Okay Jenz?
“She’s not little. She’s definitely getting my husband’s genes— I’m getting my arm workout by that.”
Jenz-Tates! (Can I call you that instead? I feel like I like it better than just plain Jenz.) Is your baby seriously a full grown man that you have to carry around on your hip? Do you have a full size manbaby? Please report back but also don’t tell the press that! I’m like, worried about you, girl.
“My nights in with her are so much fun. I had to tear myself away to come out tonight.”
JENNA BABIES SHOULD NEVER BE STRONG ENOUGH TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN YOU FROM GOING TO A PARTY. Can you hear me JenzDewsTates? Hmmm. Don’t love that.
“She’s very much into these building blocks. So we build lots of things and she tears them down. And then I build them and she tears them down again. It’s a very fun game between the two of us.”
Please confirm that this is an infant you’re speaking of, and not a Godzilla-like creature straight out of Honey I Blew Up The Kids.
“I’m reading Rapunzel to her and she’s like I don’t really care, I just want to put it in my mouth and chew on it. So we’re at that stage.”
SHE’S A MONSTER.
(Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)