• Fri, Mar 14 - 2:01 pm ET

12 Disney Movies That Could Easily Double As Lifetime Movies

Aladdin Jasmine do you trust me

DON’T TRUST HIM!

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You know how you watch your favorite Disney movies sometimes as an adult and you start to notice that certain things you loved as a kid are corny or nonsensical or really, really creepy? Don’t get me wrong, I still love them, and I look up way too many a cappella mash-ups of the songs on YouTube. But watching them with a little more life experience under your belt is a weird thing.

The same can be said for watching them with some Lifetime movie viewing experience under your belt. Turns out a lot of those seemingly innocent plots bear a striking resemblance to the cheesy Saturday night fare Lifetime airs each week. We’ve already talked about what classic novels could double as Lifetime movies, so now it’s time to look at Disney’s output. They’re a lot more sinister/suspenseful/dangerous than you might remember.

1. Beauty and the Beast

beauty and the beast(via)

Just think about it. There’s a spunky, bookish young woman (check) who isn’t really understood by those around her (check) whose father is sick (check) and who gets kidnapped by a very controlling man (check) with a traumatic past (check). And then TWIST (check) she falls in love with him, because Stockholm Syndrome.

2. Tangled

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A girl is locked in the highest part of a building by her evil mother and longs to escape. This plot might sound familiar to anyone who watched a little movie called Flowers in the Attic. The only difference is that Flynn Rider isn’t Rapunzel’s brother… OR IS HE?

3. Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo(via)

Uh oh, I’m a single parent whose child has gone missing and is in mortal danger, and I’m forced to look for him myself. Plus my sidekick suffers from memory loss. So so sad.

4. Aladdin

aladdin(via)

Sorry Jasmine, it looks like that perfect guy you just met isn’t who you think he is. He’s taken on an invented identity and has been lying to you this whole time. And oh yeah, you’re going to be forced into an arranged marriage and are possibly now a sex slave. (I mean really, that scene with Jafar is effing creepy.)

5. Little Mermaid

little mermaid(via)

A teenage girl with a controlling parent who’s different from everyone else sacrifices who she is to be with a boy she barely knows, and it leads to disastrous results. Isn’t this just every Lifetime teen movie ever? Just without a pregnancy. Or cyberbullying.

6. Mary Poppins

mary poppins(via)

Lifetime loves nannies. In this one, a strange woman puts a rich family’s children in dangerous situations (floating up to the ceiling through laughter, anyone?) and possibly gives them hallucinogenic drugs to brainwash them against their parents. Okay, so I’m putting a very exaggerated spin on things, but the plot points are there.

7. Cinderella

cinderella(via)

The inspiring story of a poor, unappreciated woman who seeks to better her life by pretending to be someone she’s not. And of course getting together with a man at the end.

8. Mulan

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A woman tries to prove herself in a male-dominated field even though everyone around her underestimates her abilities. She does this through deception, one of Lifetime’s most favoritest things, and of course in the end she gets both respect and a man.

9. Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp spaghetti

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Star-crossed lovers. One comes from a wealthy, controlling family. The other is a drifter. How long can their forbidden love affair go on before they’re separated forever? Will they ever share another plate of spaghetti again?

10. Oliver and Company

oliver and company(via)

A homeless orphan joins a gang on the streets of New York to survive. He gets caught up in crime. Things take a violent turn. Why must innocence be lost so soon? *sobbing*

11. The Lion King

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There are few things as Lifetimey as murder, especially when it’s the murder of a parent, and especially when that parent is murdered by someone close to them. Add in a romance subplot and a child’s decision to avenge their parent’s death, and it’s perfect.

12. Frozen

Disney's Frozen You're Gorgeous(via)

Once again (spoiler alert) that guy you’re in love with is not the perfect guy you thought he was, and he’ll probably lock up your sister and try to kill you. Also did I mention this is would be a holiday movie?

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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  • M_G

    Hey, don’t forget “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”: A beautiful teenage girl (probably 17 years of age) lives with her psychotic step-mother (her father having died several years prior, of course, because f*ck father figures) who tries to kill her out of jealousy. The girl takes refuge with seven strange men, each with mental problems and questionable hygiene. She settles into a life of blissful domesticity (a lady is happiest cleaning and cooking, and especially singing with to animals WHILE cleaning and cooking). In addition to living with people she just met, she further displays her ignorance of the rules of stranger danger by eating a treat given to her by a beggar woman whose never heard of shampoo. But eventually, her prince DOES come, they kiss, and ride off into the sunset, presumably so she can start her new and perfect life….with yet another stranger.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Ahaha. Yes. This. I love it.

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