Just about two weeks ago, Mary-Kate Olsen got engaged to her older French boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy. It seemed like just yesterday she was singing about all the various food items you could put on a pizza, and now she’s getting married to a 44-year-old. And just when you thought her non-twin sister Elizabeth Olsen could preserve some of that not-getting-married innocence you’re so used to from this family, she goes and gets engaged to her actor boyfriend Boyd Holbrook, who also happens to be older, but only by seven years (she’s 25, he’s 32).
According to a source who talked to Us Weekly (hopefully in a parking garage while wearing a trench coat), Elizabeth and Boyd, who starred together in the movie Very Good Girls, are now engaged to be married. They’ve been dating since 2012. Us thankfully had two other anonymous sources on the case to give them all the details. Sources and sources and sources, oh my!
“They’ve been by each other for a while, taking a lot of couple time,” a different source tells Us, noting that they’ve been “talking about getting engaged” and recently took a trip to Paris together. Adds another insider: “They moved into a place in Brooklyn a few months ago.”
No word on whether or not Elizabeth did this to steal her least favorite sister Mary-Kate’s thunder after she forgot her birthday. But speaking of Elizabeth’s sisters, let’s just go ahead and address the elephant in the room. When is that pathetic spinster Ashley Olsen going to get a ring on that finger? Is she too busy darning socks in a rocking chair and taking care of her ailing father? That’s the image I have of spinsters in my head based on movies I’ve seen, so correct me if I’m wrong about those details. Ashley’s reportedly seeing Moneyball director Bennett Miller, who at 47 is even older than Mary-Kate’s fiancé. Hurry up and lock that down, Ashley. You don’t want to squash our dreams of a triple-Olsen wedding, do you? No, you don’t.