Guys, have you heard that Kim Kardashian got her body back after having that baby? I know you might have missed the news since she only talks about it every five minutes, but it is indeed back with a vengeance. A serious vengeance. Every half-naked selfie Kim posts screams “I’M NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE HATERS!” And sometimes she even screams things like that outside of the photos. Her latest technique to remind us she is no longer with child but is rather 2 hot 2 handle is the photo she posted yesterday of herself wearing her little half-sister Kylie Jenner’s bikini.
How do we know it’s Kylie’s bikini? Because Kim said on Instagram that she stole it, and also because on the exact same day Kylie posted the below photo of herself wearing it.
We also know it’s probably not Kim’s because it’s very clearly too small for her. Which makes sense since they’re different sizes. Kylie is literally half Kim’s age and has a different body type. According to Kim, though, the tinier the bikini you can squeeze your impressive boobies into, the hotter you are. I expect her next selfie to feature her wearing a designer baby romper gifted to North West. Unfortunately wearing smaller clothes doesn’t make you look smaller. It actually does the opposite, as evidenced by countless cartoon characters.
Kim seems to have forgotten she’s a millionaire who can afford dozens of super sexy bikinis that don’t make her boobs look like they’re being tortured for government information. Either that or Kris Jenner forgot the combination to her money vault (it’s obviously 666, I don’t know how that would slip her mind) and everyone in the family has been forced to wear hand-me-downs. I hope poor Rob Kardashian hasn’t resorted to hawking Mason Disick’s wittle sockies on the side of the road. So so sad.