I hate to shatter your illusions that love is real and fairy tales do come true so early in the week, but we’re getting word that Kanye West didn’t actually put together that fancy proposal to Kim Kardashian all on his own. It was actually Kris Jenner’s doing, and she allegedly admitted it herself. This news is only shocking because in the ongoing mystery of “Who Planned Kimye’s Proposal,” my number one suspect was always Kim herself. And I’m not going to give up my theory just yet.
The proposal revelation comes from court documents allegedly obtained by Radar Online, document-retrievers extraordinaire. Kris made a declaration in Kimye’s lawsuit against YouTube co-founder Chad Hurley. According to Kimye, Hurley illegally leaked footage of the proposal. Kris claims she “played a major role in organizing and running the event.” I assume that means Kanye said, “I want to ask Kim to marry me,” and Kris Jenner said, “I already have it planned.” Or, according to Kris, she just handled the guest list:
“As part of this,” she continued, according to court records, “I was directly involved in formulating and was familiar with the guest list.”
First of all, the fact that in the Kardashian world a marriage proposal has a guest list really speaks for itself. Second of all, am I seriously supposed to believe the real mastermind of all this wasn’t the lady making Taylor Swift surprise faces for the cameras on that baseball field that night? By that I mean a lady named Kim Kardashian.
It’s just that when it comes to the Kardashians, even the shocking things they do aren’t really that shocking, so I always like to put another tin foil hat over the one I’m already wearing and start a double conspiracy theory. I’m just gonna go ahead and imagine that while Kendall and Kylie and Khloe and the rest of the Ks were all shushing each other about keeping the proposal secret, Kim was hidden off camera calling the fireworks people to make sure they were on time. Pay no attention to that booty behind the curtain!