• Fri, Mar 7 - 4:20 pm ET

10 Suspects Who Could Have Stolen That $50,000 From Kourtney Kardashian

Kourtney Kardashian saying it is on bitches GIF(via)

Some devilry is afoot in the Kardashian Family, because two of the most sparkling jewels in its crown have been robbed in the space of a month. First was Khloe, who reported $250,000 in jewelry taken from her home, and then it was Kourtney just a few days ago, who’s claiming a theft of $50,000 in cash, also from her home.

We don’t need to talk right now about who and what and where and WHY she had a cool fifty thou in her home, just know that it’s gone now.

And there are many suspects! So I shall don my familiar hat of internet detective and attempt to crack the case! Apparently Kourtney thinks it’s an inside job — makes sense since both homes were hit in such a small window of time — but doesn’t think Lamar Odom is behind it, because he’s out of the country and has an airtight alibi. That only leaves a few people close enough to both sisters that they’d have access to both homes, so let’s start narrowing this down!

Khloe is apparently getting lie detector tests and fingerprints from any potential thieves, so while she waits for those results to come back, we’ll sift through this compelling list of suspects that I created all on my very own. GUMPTION!

1. Rob Kardashian

Rob Kardashian air-kissing Khloe on KUWTK GIF(via)

He’s been exiled to Florida while he loses the mom-mandated weight before Kim‘s wedding, his sock venture was pretty much a bust, and he’s proven he’ll do pretty much anything for his mom’s attention. Show us your hands, Robert!

2. Penelope Disick

Penelope Disick playing with a phone on Keeping Up With the Kardashians GIF(via)

I’m honestly really Penelope’s the culprit, and that she spirited all this money away to go and make a life for herself that’s free of the Kardashian Empire. Dare to dream.

3. Kris Humphries

Kris Humphries throwing Kim off the pier in KUWTK GIF(via)

I mean, he never got the payout over his marriage to Kim that he was hoping for on the basis of fraud, and he always did have some trouble telling the sisters apart, on account of being a foot and a half taller than them and much too proud to wear glasses. If it is him, it’s possible that he thought he was stealing from Kim.

4. Scott Disick

Scott Disick lying on couch GIF(via)

Maybe nobody ever told Scott it’s not okay to get your allowance right out of Kourtney’s wallet? Even if she forgets to give it to you.

5. Kris Jenner

Kris Jenner no cell service here is giving me a rash GIF(via)

At some point, you’ve gotta imagine that Kris would get tired of her kids leaving their valuables lying around. Perhaps she took a page out of Arrested Developments book and made it A Lesson.

6. Kanye West

Kanye West shaking his head GIF

In his defense, Kanye uses money as toilet paper, and he couldn’t find any in the house. Please don’t ask what he uses jewelry for, because you don’t want to know.

7. Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner fake crying I'm getting so old GIF KUWTK(via)

He came over to pick up Kendall for a visit and accidentally picked up a pile of money decorated with jewelry instead. An easy mistake to make, considering how decked out that kid can be sometimes.

8. North West

Kim Kardashian and North West's forehead in Instagram photo January 2014In this household, money equals love, and North doesn’t know how to get that love any other way in these formative years before she’s able to fully join her mom in selfies.

9. Kylie Jenner

Kylie Jenner GIF(via)

Honestly she’s just trying to get someone in this family to pay attention to her at this point.

10. Ryan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest dusting himself off at Academy Awards GIF(via)

Hey, rent was due, and his best tenants hadn’t paid! So maybe he came a’collecting!

Share This Post:
  • TalishaRodrique

    Who is the person for stolen money from Kourtney ?

    http://vitaketonefrance.net/

  • J_Doe5686

    Penelope and North did it so they can pay a lawyer and get emmancipated! This is all hush-hush. They’re still going to appear on the show because family support each other.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I admire your detective work.

  • FemelleChevalier

    “…Please don’t ask what he uses jewelry for, because you don’t want to know.”

    *looks at Kanye’s pearl-like necklace*

    …yeah, thanks for the heads-up, Alexis. Now excuse me, I need to find a tub of bleach to soak my brain into.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahahaha sorry!

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