In case you don’t keep close track of what young female pop stars are doing with their mouths these days, Katy Perry recently kissed a girl… and she didn’t like it. The girl on the other end of that kiss was none other than bundle of waning shock value Miley Cyrus, during one of her concerts. After said kiss, Katy went on an Australian morning show and declared that she was afraid of where Miley’s tongue has been. Because there’s such a thing as the Internet, Miley got wind of what Katy said and tweeted an insult about her ex John Mayer and his experienced tongue. Daaaaamn. Well grab the popcorn, because Katy has responded.
@MileyCyrus Oooo gurrrl I’m gonna give you the BIGGEST spanking when I see you in the UK bb!
— Katy Perry (@katyperry) March 6, 2014
I think, much like when she made the first tongue comment, it would seem that Katy is trying super duper hard to look like an innocent jokey joke machine with a joke cherry on top — which coincidentally is an exact description of her next award show outfit. But something tells me Miley isn’t going to take this lying down. Actually, come to think of it, that’s exactly what she’s going to do when she lies down across Katy Perry’s lap and accepts her spanking invitation.
We all know Miley can’t resist a good shenanigan. The kissing a girl stunt was only the beginning. Can you imagine how distracted people would be from her actual music if she invited Katy Perry onstage to give her a playful spanking? People would forget about her singing entirely! She could go the whole concert without singing a single note and people wouldn’t even notice! It’s the perfect plan! You mark my words, Miley’s response to this will probably be something like, “I’ll pencil you in, but I have a hot dog to ride and some masturbation to simulate that day, so we might have to move some things around. I look forward to working with you.” Miley takes her shenanigans real serious.
But really, why can’t these two just kiss and make up? (Eh? Eh? See what I did there?)