Grand Budapest Hotel comes out today, but I have to be honest with you guys — I’m not gonna see it.
For one thing, I’m not a big Wes Anderson fan (only because I haven’t seen enough of his movies to really ‘get’ him), but the main reason is that over time, his trailers have started to feel more and more like parodies to me. The bright colors, the unrealistic sets, the bizarre plots…and most of all, the star-studded casts.
Sometime it’s fun when there are a butt load of famous people all in one movie, but more often it’s a sign that the film doesn’t have much else going on. It turns it into a distracting parade of celebrities jaunting around and eating up money instead of focusing on other things like, oh I don’t know, a plot or emotional heightening or a riveting script. Silly old things like that.
But like I said, I haven’t actually seen this new film that I’m already ragging on, so why don’t I give you a few more examples just to prove I know what I’m talking about. Here are eleven movies that prove a cast can be too star-studded.
1. Grand Budapest Hotel
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Saoirse Ronan, Jason Schwartzman, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, Owen Wilson
All that star power, and we’re still drawing the mustache onto the upper lip of a main character with eyeliner? I want my dollars back.
2. Monuments Men
Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray (hello again), Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Hugh Bonneville
I think in this case, producers were so blinded by their A-List cast that they forgot to make sure the movie was actually worthwhile in itself. Which is how you get a film pushed from prime Oscar real estate in December…to February of the next year. Ouchies.
3. Love Actually
Starring: Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Martin Freeman, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, Laura Linney, Alan Rickman, Billy Bob Thornton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, January Jones, Elisha Cuthbert, Denise Richards, Bill Nighy, Claudia Schiffer
I know this one’s a huge classic, but HEAR ME OUT. As Jezebel pointed out last year, this movie had some prettttty upsetting plot lines, if you really think about it. I think we’ve just been lulled into loving this movie by the fact that we recognize every human being in it.
4. Movie 43
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Seth MacFarlane, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Emma Stone, Kieran Culkin, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Kristen Bell, Leslie Bibb, Chloe Grace Moretz, Sean William Scott, Halle Berry, Gerard Butler, Terrence Howard, Elizabeth Banks, Josh Duhamel
How this many A-Listers signed onto a movie with a 4.4 rating on IMDb is, frankly, beyond me.
5. Oceans 12
Starring: Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Casey Affleck, Don Cheadle
I feel like after their first film, the marketing concept for every one that came after was just “add another celebrity and do it again!”
6. Valentine’s Day
Starring: Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts, Jessica Biel, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, Julia Roberts, Taylor Swift
No offense to anyone who wants to continue doing this for a living, but most of the famous people in the list above are barely even actors. I’m looking at you, Jessicas.
7. New Years Eve
Starring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Robert DeNiro, Halle Berry, Alyssa Milano, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Katherine Heigl, Sofia Vergara, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Ryan Seacrest
Annnd this is blatantly just a remake of Valentine’s Day, set on another holiday of the year. Eagerly anticipating the critical flop Arbor Day that I feel sure is in the works.
8. American Hustle
Starring: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner
I know this movie and most of the people in it were nominated for Oscars, but I think it was a classic case of star-blindness. I don’t think anyone would’ve been nearly as obsessed if it was the exact same performances from no-name actors.
9. Batman & Robin
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Vivica A. Fox, Elle Macpherson
Garbage garbage! Garbage garbage garbage movie! (But so many famous people!)
10. Anchorman 2
Starring: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, James Marsden, Greg Kinnear, Kristen Wiig, Harrison Ford, Sacha Baron Cohen, Marion Cotillard, Kirsten Dunst, Will Smith, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Drake, Kanye West
Ugh, the one with all the cameos. I agree the first movie was funny, but I feel like this one was slathered in big names so nobody would notice there was nothing underneath.
Starring: Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, Thandie Newton, Ludacris, Ryan Phillippe, Brendan Fraser, Terrence Howard,
And sometimes you put so many stars in the same movie that it wrongfully wins the Oscar for Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain. This is why we can’t have nice things!!!!!