So I don’t know if you heard the amazing news this morning, but Harry Styles is apparently the top choice for the character of Fiyero in the movie version of Wicked that’s in the works.
I’m a pretty rational person most of the time, but I don’t know if I can even express to you what wonderful casting this would be. Harry can sing, which he’s proven time and again with One Direction, approximately every female human in the world has a crush on him, and even if he doesn’t have acting training, I’m pretty sure he could charm the pants off of…someone with notoriously difficult pants to get off. A Mormon? I don’t know.
Anyway, I got so excited and flustered about this announcement (even though he hasn’t responded officially or anything) that I just went ahead and cast the rest of the show in my dream world. In case the producers are poking around the internet and want to take ALL OF MY ADVICE DOWN TO THE LETTER. Which is advised.
Just bear in mind that I’m living in a fantasy where everyone has immaculate voices in addition to being solid performers. So feel free to rage about that in the comments, but just know that this is my castle on a cloud and you shan’t blow it down with logic.
ELPHABA – Demi Lovato
DUH. How is this not the most perfect thing ever? Demi as the misunderstood bad witch who has to take her fate into her own hands? I love it. I’ve heard they’re considering Lea Michele, but I think she skews too old next to Harry, because she has seven years on him and they’re supposed to be classmates. But Demi’s only a year older than Harry, could totally handle the belting range of the role, and since she’s already proven in every other arena that there’s nothing she can’t do, I’d love to see her branch into movies.
GLINDA – Taylor Swift
Ugh. I was so opposed to including this one because she’s not my favorite, but once it got into my brain, I couldn’t get it out. Taylor would honestly be ideal as the good witch with a little edge, whose perfection actually gets in her way. Harrumph.
FIYERO – Harry Styles
Still swooning over this. And don’t even try to deny that you’d turn up at the theater just to see the weird sexual tension between Harry and Taylor. Because yeah…their characters start out as a couple. DRAMA.
MADAME MORRIBLE – Kate McKinnon
The headmistress of Dear Old Shiz University is a character that could go in a variety of different ways…and Kate is an actor who can go in seemingly go in an infinite number of character directions, so what could be better? Plus Kate will be looking for a big movie project to boost her on her way out of Saturday Night Live, whenever that might take place.
THE WIZARD – Idris Elba
Gotta bring in those more mature watchers of The Wire as well, and people who just generally want to marvel at the pile of talent and sexuality that is Idris. But don’t you also think he’d be great at the role? The kind of noble, patrician man who turns out to be a total blowhard? I’m into it.
NESSAROSE – Chloe Grace Moretz
The seemingly-meek girl with a little bit of total bad ass to her? How does that not scream Chloe?
BOQ – Josh Hutcherson
So proud of this casting. So very proud. Boq is such an adorable little pocket human, Josh would be the perfect choice to play him! No idea whether he sings or not, but I get a weird feeling that he does. Can anyone confirm or deny this? But regardless, I’d watch him in this role even if he can’t stay in key to save his life.
DOCTOR DILLAMOND – Ty Burrell
Ty as a professorial, speaking Goat? What’s not to love? I mean that — WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE WHY DON’T YOU LOVE IT? I love it.