Every day before I go to bed I give thanks that Tina Fey exists. Sometimes I even sacrifice my night cheese to the garbage disposal to let the gods of funny ladies know how serious I am about my Tina worship. Thanks to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, I got to bow down at the altar of Tina this morning as I watched this backstage video about her worst audition ever. After you watch it, you’ll have an overwhelming desire to give up on all your hopes and dreams for good. Like I said, what would we do without Tina?
As it turns out, Tina’s worst audition was for a McDonald’s commercial. As someone who would subsist on only McDonald’s fries if that was at all healthy or socially acceptable, bombing an audition for McDonald’s is my worst nightmare. What if they remember me and how awful I was and they send my picture to every McDonald’s in the country or even the world telling them not to serve me because I’m a big loser? Tina was a little more rational than I am, so she was mostly just worried about the fact that she would have to pretend to go through a drive-thru and show the side of her face that has a scar.
Tina assumed they’d never hire her if her scar would be so visible, so she didn’t really try very hard. It might seem like she’s being too hard on herself, but sadly even in the fast food commercial industry they’re probably pretty shallow. The moral of this story? Don’t follow your dreams. In Tina’s words, “Your dreams are ridiculous.” Also, you should try to work the sentence “My scar would like an orange soda” into more of your conversations. Thanks for looking out, Tina.