Even though this is happening out of God’s designed order, He loves you both and will forgive you,” they insist. “Abortion might seem like a quick fix to a big problem, but we personally know several women who have done this, and they have said they regret ending the life of their baby; it haunts them every day. You cannot get un-pregnant. If you are pregnant, take responsibility and take care of yourself and your baby and God will take care of you.”
Let’s ignore the fact that God’s forgiveness doesn’t go very far when it comes to being able to afford the extraordinary cost of raising a child and jump right into their spiel about responsibility. Because this particular pro-life argument never quite makes sense to me. There’s nothing irresponsible about looking at your lifestyle and realizing that it’s not right to raise a child. Yes, there are probably many women who do regret their abortions. But there are probably many more who don’t. There are probably many women who look back at that difficult choice and know they made the right decision for them at that time. And yes, I do say difficult choice because it is an incredibly difficult choice. There’s nothing easy or simple about getting an abortion. No one relishes the thought of it. No one plays birth control roulette in hopes they’ll get pregnant and get the chance to pay for an abortion.
The Duggars can yammer on and on about how giving birth is about taking responsibility for your choices. But news flash, giving birth is just the first step in raising a child. After that comes EVERYTHING ELSE. And as far as I know you can’t pay for diapers by telling the cashier that you took responsibility. Nor can you send your pediatrician bills to God.
It’s time that people as fortunate as the Duggars took responsibility for what they say and actually made “choosing life” a real option. Start with simple things like promoting paid maternity leave, then move onto more advanced things like supporting programs that help underprivileged children eat nutritious meals. Then maybe do something crazy and open a chain of affordable clinics that provides prenatal care to pregnant women who can’t afford it. And while you’re at it, toss a daycare into that clinic so the woman doesn’t have to pay for childcare for her existing children to get that prenatal care. Because here’s a fun fact, 60% of women seeking an abortion already have a child at home.
Or maybe, I’m getting ahead of myself here. Maybe the first step is simply sitting down with women who are getting abortions and ask them why. And spoiler alert, it’s not because they’re lazy or irresponsible or unaware of what getting an abortion means. There’s always a valid reason and it would help pro-birthers like the Duggars to decrease the number of women getting abortions if they actually understood the reasons why women get them.